just watched aquaman on imax. i can't think of a gimmick for my imaginary facebook friends. oh here's one:
breaking news: actor jason momoa got bitten by a shark while surfing in hawaii.
i'm so powerful in my town i told the manager of imax to bring back skaraboosh and they did. i'm so powerful i can walk in any mcdonalds in cebu city, order soup, and they'll make it. people are like robots. when the live aid concert started near the end of the movie i stood up and started dancing and urged the other 50 people in the theatre to do the same. only half of them stood up. i know 99.99% of the time you are suppose to sit down in a movie theatre but this was imax so you should take advantage of the immersive experience and fantasize you are at the live aid concert performance of queen. it was one of the best movies i've seen second only to lolita. yet the libtards in rotten tomatoes gave it a meager 60% rating all because freddie mercury's mother mentioned 2 words that obama refused to say his entire presidency - ISLAMIC PROSECUTION. skaraboosh is a republican propaganda movie - the numerous butt slapping scenes in the movie is designed to normalize trump's access hollywood tape scandal and george hw bush's butt grabbing habit. freddie's family is also indian and there are lots of indian stars in the republican party - former south carolina governor nickey haley and louisianna governor bobby jindal. the movie also attempts to normalize the bisexual relationship of trump and giuliani (Rudy Giuliani in Drag Smooching Donald Trump). if the movie was really about queen, how come i did not see any of them riding a bicycle? joking aside, i really enjoy these biographicals. just recently i watched "straight outa compton", then "all eyez on me", and now this. i hope they make some more.
12/25/17 fb posts
you will be more entertained if before watching a movie you read in wikipedia the plot summary of it's prequel(s), if there are any. unless you have a photogenic memory
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sometimes the rotten tomatoes rating will give away the ending of the movie. the war of the planet of the apes has a pretty high rating - 93%. since the critics of rotten tomatoes are left wing libtards, that means the apes won. especially the apes are going against the US army. omg, they will just fantasize the apes are muslim terrorists and that would be their ultimate wet dream.
12/1/17 fb post
i've been watching these reality talent shows and i get so stressed out because i'm afraid the judges might run out of things to say. is it just me who feels this way? i don't even care who wins. every time a judge says something original or witty i become relieved. as i get better from my pneumonia and start to venture out into the real world away from reality tv shows, i would like to believe that each judge is surrounded by a team of brilliant writers supplying them with witty things to say so they will never run out of things to say. that would make me sleep better at night. i wished i lived in a fanstasy world where it is ok for a judge to keep saying the same things over and over again like "excellent job", and "i wasn't that impressed", or "that was ok". man, if i ever watch a reality tv show where it is ok for a judge to keep repeating the same comments over and over again i would be jumping up and down in euphoria. i would put up a poster of that judge up on my bedroom wall.
9/3/17 fb post
whew !!! i finally finished watching la la land. took me 3 days. ever since i retired 8 years ago i only have time to watch a movie when i'm eating. when i was working i used to watch an average of 4 hours of tv/movies a day (i had so much time because i used my creativity and scripting skills to automate most of my tasks at work and i didn't sponsor scholars in america. nowadays when i do have time to watch a movie i'm already physically and mentally drained i just collapse in bed and get a massage from my scholars).
the movie la la land proved my theory that "facebook is for the average". at the end of the movie, the reaction of the "50 miles/gallon prius chic" and the "3 miles/gallon gas guzler dude" when they saw each other after 5 years shows they both were not facebook users just like the other extremes i've met in my life. the most handsome guy in my school dax almendras don't do facebook. same with the most beautiful girl pilar, the most talented artist dino ordonez, our valedictorian robin baranggan, our top engineer tatan garcia, our extreme ideologue communist julian, our most religious venjie balansag the iglesia, the smartest scientist who is now finding a cure for cancer (forgot her name she only stayed for a few months) - all not in facebook. the richest monique lhuiller has a business facebook page but no selfies of her sticking her tongue out or swimming with whale sharks or rants about how the barista this morning got her order of "double ristretto venti half-soy nonfat decaf organic chocolate brownie iced vanilla double-shot gingerbread frappuccino extra hot with foam whipped cream upside down double blended, one wweet'n low and one nutrasweet, and ice" wrong.
people normally see the world as a clash between 2 sides of the spectrum. i think it's better to see it as a clash between the middle versus the extreme sides at both ends. not a clash between republicans vs democrats but the real war for the good of mankind is really between the extreme democrats (socialists) and republicans (neo-nazis) vs moderate democrats and republicans. to me it's ok if you are pro duterte or anti duterte but it's not ok if you are an extreme pro duterte or an extreme anti duterte. the caveat to my theory is no one really admits they are extreme. everyone claims they are moderates. example the extreme republicans think they are moderates and accuse the moderate republicans of being democrats. (the challenge is knowing where to draw the lines and boundaries).
that is probably why i feel my ultra rich friends and ultra poor friends are just the same. my richest friend and my poorest friend both have outdoor showers. my riches friend has a shower by his pool and my poorest friend also has an outdoor shower - a large water drum on top of his trailer home with a hose that runs down where he can take a shower outside his trailer. we average people only have indoor showers. my ultra rich friends and ultra poor friends do too much drugs which always worries me - the rich ones do cocaine the poor ones do meth or shabu. us average people only do alcohol. my ultra rich friends and ultra poor friends come from broken families and are also in the process of breaking apart families of their own. middle class families tend to stay together through thick and thin. my ultra poor friends and ultra rich friends have lots of cars. my richest friend has a bentley, hummer, maserati and a tesla. my poorest friend also has lots of cars parked outside his trailer home it's just they are sitting on top of hallow blocks rusting with no wheels and no engines.
9/2/17 facebook post
i'm watching this 50 miles/gallon meets 3 miles/gallon love story that bagged a record breaking academy awards last year and i had to google if the jesse pinkman dude in the movie is a pianist in real life and turns out he only learned to play the piano for 3 months for the film. i know he only had to play short clips and i'm sure he had coaches telling him which keys to strike and i'm sure the complicated part which just showed his hands wasn't really him. but it's still very impressive how he played even the simple parts. i can't find the word for it let me just call it the X-factor:
- it's how gracefully or fluidly the fingers strike the keys and
- how the hands look like it's just floating like a butterfly and
- the cleanliness and pureness of the sound
i've been playing the piano since i was a kid and i never learned to how to play with this X-factor. i remember i would get excited whenever i master a piano piece until i realize how much more beautifully my teacher plays it then i get discouraged and bummed because i realize how ugly i play the piano even if technically i played it perfectly without mistakes. she tried teaching me - how i should use the weight of my hands to strike the keys instead of my finger muscles, but at some point i just gave up. i always thought that maybe it's because she had so much experience and practice in her life. but now this movie made me realize it's just inborn talent. it can't be taught and learned. here's an example. even the kid already has this X-factor at such a young age: https://youtu.be/Xrkq-yBVcQQ . compare it to my video https://youtu.be/iALvT_YSw6Q
reminds me of this singer sarah geronimo who's youtube videos i really enjoy watching because she has this incredible X-factor - her mannerisms, her facial and body expressions. i don't even consider her that attractive but she is the epitomy of cool. here's an example: https://youtu.be/7TX5du-Esrk . but the problem is she will never do these hand/arm movements and placements and goofy facial expressions in a concert and her true beauty will be covered with all the hair, make up and fancy outfits. that's why i won't bother watching her concerts. (i even time travelled to 5 years ago to recreate this video. check out the handsome pianist - https://youtu.be/iRMRPzHNV48 ). and here's a video of her dancing: notice how her co-dancers are dancing exactly like her except she has that X-factor: https://youtu.be/J0E8ceEMm78
i notice in full production concert performances this X-factor gets ruined from all the makeup, costumes and sound effects. in fact i remember when youtube was still in it's infancy there was this girl (i can't find the video anymore) who did this song and guitar rendition of frente's bizarre love triangle - the video had millions of views even if it was poorly produced - she was just on her bed wearing house clothes, using a cheap video recorder.. so they probably thought if she can get that many views with such a poor production, imagine what would happen if they put in a lot of effort - complete with hair and make up, state of the art sound recording studio, etc .. so they did and the video really sucked. hahaha.
another confession i want to get off my chest is that it really really frustrates me to see my favorite bands performing with very awful ugly moves on stage. the worst offenders of this crime is U2's bono, and rolling stones. maybe it's a rock thing.. but here's an example of an awesome concert performance that has that X-factor - simple goofy dance moves but so cool - https://youtu.be/uQng86EudNY
8/20/14 facebook post
mad men sucks it's like a daytime soap opera. i don't know why it's top 3 all time. maybe i just got spoiled from breaking bad, the wire, game of thrones and true detective. or maybe because the life i'm living right now is actually more badass and exciting than the mad men. or maybe it's because i just watched the first 2 episodes and it only gets entertaining in the later part. lucky for me none of my facebook friends ever gave it a thumbs up so i assume it must really suck and i won't have to waste time finding out for myelf.
7/5/14 facebook post
just finished thrones 4. can't wait to know what happens next i ended up reading until episode 10 where the descendant of greyjoy, an ironborn knight finally had the guts to explore outside the seven kingdoms and ended up in mactan where he was killedby lapu lapu. (picturing the statue of lapu lapu with the game of thrones intro music theme)
6/12/14 facebook post
breaking bad may be the best series overall but the wire has got the best scenes.
omar in the jail cell, like a true warrior ready to get killed and at least put up a fight as the 2 huge supposedly hitmen enter the jail cell. one of them pulls out the knife. at this point, i felt sad. i didn't want omar to go he was one of my favorite characters. but then i realized it's a gangster movie where even your favorite gangster has got to go at some point. but then the dude gives the knife to omar. it turns out they were hired by his handler to be his bodyguards. WOW !!! i'm very impressed. what's more impressive is the cast selection of the bodyguards - the most badass looking black dudes ever
5/29/14 facebook post
wow !!! it’s brother muzon vs omar. i wonder who will win. NO SPOILERS PLEASE !!! i like omar better. i love the way he says “berd”. i just can’t stand his gay kissing scenes. it’s one of those – oh shit here it goes again. and then – thank god that scene is over. 2 black dudes going at it is just horrifying to me. breaking bad is still way better than the wire. but i agree the wire is second best and since i finished breaking bad already, i’m very happy with the wire.
3/21/14 facebook post
i just finished watching the series finale of breaking bad. it's amazing how the characters parallel the right/left wing of society that i analyze frequently in my blog. walter white is the maniacal right wing psychopath, jesse pinkman and hank the DEA are left wingers. just like the flaws and failure of communism the flaws of jesse and hank are the inability to look at the big picture and accept practical world reality. catching a drug kingpin won't solve the drug problem. as long as there is demand, there will always be suppliers. hank failed to realize that his job is just a job. sacrificing himself and family was pointless.
12/4/13 facebook post
watching captain philips - a showcase of typical democrat liberal solutions to security - water hoses, the pirates are barefoot so put broken glasses around the door entrances, turn of the lights so they can't see us, "the pirates have guns but we know our way around the ship so we have an advantage" --- BRILLIANT !!!
oh shit there are republicans in the crew. they fought back and took the pirate leader's ak 47. let's see if they really know how to use the kalishnikov. if not, they are not pure blood republican.
11/16/13 facebook post
the funeral of thor's mother was carried out using a funeral pyre set afloat on the river. the people of asgard should halt this tradition because the paraiba cat fish would feed on the dead body and evolve to develop a taste for human flesh. this will endanger the people and especially the children swimming in the river.
11/15/13 facebook post
while watching thor in imax they showed a really long preview of the next captain america movie. recalling the previous one, i realized captain america is very lucky he was in a comma for 70 years. it would have been a disaster if his comma lasted only 50 years because that would mean his girlfriend is still alive and 80 years old. that would be really awkward. if he dumps his girlfriend for being too old that would make him a superficial jerk. if he reunites with his girlfriend that would be yucky.
imagine if that happens to you i'm sure the first thing you do when you wake up from a 70 year comma and you haven't aged a bit is run around looking for your love ones. and i'm sure the audience was thinking the same thing. WHERE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND? GO LOOK FOR YOUR GIRLFRIEND. oh wait, then you start calculating and realize his girlfriend is already dead from old age. then you realize, WHOA what if i woke up 20 years earlier? awkward !!!!
11/7/13 facebook post
game of thrones is the left wing liberal's worst nightmare.
11/5/13 facebook post
enders game was cool. even if the story was not that great i'm always a sucker for cool graphics and sleek space age uniforms like the recent movie oblivion especially in imax. i was relieved there was none of those time travel, magic, or super powers crap that always ruins the movie for me. it's not that i prefer realistic stories in fact my favorite so far is "how to train your dragon" and second is "legend of the guardians (the owls)" especially in imax where i almost felt like i was also flying. even if avatar had the best graphics the remote body control thingy spoiled it for me. i just don't like watching a movie where i have to keep questioning - "you can do this but you can't do this?" like in lord of the rings where they should just have rode those giant eagles from the very beginning.
11/4/13 facebook post
i'm still in episode 5 of game of thrones and rob stark is starting to annoy me. the show's theme is suppose to be "real life ugly truth" just like my blog where justice and righteousness is just a luxury to those who can afford it and a facade to those who need it. for the show to be consistent to it's theme, rob stark should not win the war. he executed his general just for killing their prisoner who is a teenager even if the general was just acting out of vengeance on the death of his son. killing his general caused half his army to desert out of sympathy to their executed general. he also married for love at the expense of a very strategic alliance with a powerful kingdom. the mother of dragons is more deserving of the iron throne. stanis barathean is another typical moron who lets pride get the better of him - he lost the battle in kings landing because his brother's army was fighting for the other side because he refused to negotiate the alliance - violating the common sense strategy of eliminating your common enemy first before you deal with each other. tywin lanister is also deserving of the iron throne except he does not have a birth right.
9/1/13/facebook post
the graphics of animal planet movie mermaids is so creepy to the point of being funny. i kept laughing even if the show was not meant to be funny. and apparently fishes are smarter than mermaids because at least fishes know how to hide in smaller places where the giant shark megalodon cannot fit into. one of the mermaids sacrificed himself by cutting himself to divert attention from the mermaid pod to himself and let himself be eaten by the shark. i know the scientists know that was stupid but they also know that it would be more dramatic and entertaining and besides there's only like 14 people in the world like me smart enough to notice this.
(for more of my knowledge bombs, click the "ian's knowledge bombs" banner at the top of this article and choose any article in the table of contents that piques your interest)
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