i wonder if i can refill my sodium chloride nasal spray bottle with the sodium chloride my scholar's mom took with her from the hospital (she had to have stitches and is living with me for a few days because her husband beat her up. my sister in law got angry with me because she saw a child sitting in our sala watching tv with a battered face. she said our neighbors might think our house beats up kids. i told her she is not a child she is the mother of 3 girls the eldest is 15. her facebook is ashlyn alvarez. she is 30 years old but she looks 15 years old. she didn't believe me she reacted like a CNN reporter in a donald trump news conference. my scholars run to me when there's violence in their house and i panic because they are very cute adorable minors so i always tell them to leave but they won't. then i say i will go to the baranggay and they say if i do their dad goes to jail which they love to death and their dad is a very hard worker and good provider who feeds them and sends them to school and very sweet to them most of the time. so i shout CHECKMATE I'M SCREWED !!!
there was this beautiful 11 year old girl named kim pang (search kim pang mandaue in facebook) who met my 19 year old maid, angel, at a disco. kim kept visiting me so i told her mother and family about it. she would walk 3 kilometers (1.8 miles) from her house in mabolo to my house everyday. one time i was playing golf and she waited outside our house for 4 hours and got soaked by the rain. my neighbors saw her and did not do anything to help her. she would not stop visiting me so i went to the baranggay hall in mabolo and told them i am willing to mentor her and help her go back to school if the baranggay will give me official permission but the baranggay said she is still too young. maybe if she is 16 that's possible. kim won't stop visiting me so i reported her again and kim was sent to juvenile jail. it's been 2 years and she is still there. she won't be released until she is 18. i heard horror stories they eat lugaw or rice porridge everyday so i feel so guilty i should just have sacrificed myself by taking the legal risk to protect and help that child in need just like what jesus christ did to humanity. HAPPY EASTER !!! what's really troubling is, she told me that when her dad gets out of jail she will ask her dad to kill her mom. her dad is a vicious contract killer and would do anything she says.
my sister in law also got angry with me because my scholars were having a rumble in our subdivision. i was helping this beautiful 12 year old british kid (search samantha cabellin in facebook). i used to receive the P15k a week her dad sends her from the UK because she has no ID and her dad does not want to give the money to her mom because her mom will just waste it on drugs. but she had sex with the girlfriend of my scholar (also a girl), so they beat her up. good thing the habal habal drivers and security guards broke up the fight. i think she is a psychopath. her girlfriend told me she wants to be my girlfriend. i'm like of course not i can go to jail. later on she used her money to seduce my scholars to have sex with her. then she told them she has HIV. so one night my girls came home crying saying they have HIV. turns out it was just a ploy to get back at my girls for beating her up.. omg she is going to grow up to be a silence of the lambs and i would be her first meal. one time they went to this night club called "hatchi". she joined this spontaneous dance contest that is judged by the amount of audience applause. the other girl before her was very talented and she knew she can't compete so she took off all her clothes, and of course the crowd went wild and she won. that is why sometimes i don't believe there is a god. i only believe in my friends and schoolmates who are now government officials because a week later my girls complained club hatchi got raided and shutdown by the authorities. i yelled "praise the lord !!!". it's actually not surprising considering these kids grew up with no proper parents and they had access to all kinds of porn.
i got fed up with all the craziness and got them an apartment in banawa with aircon where they have aunts next door who can monitor them. a week later i woke up and they were all sleeping in my room. turns out they got a dog and the dog was crapping all over their apartment so it became so stinky. so they just left the apartment and the dog and never returned. the neighbors were the lucky recipients of the appliances and furnishings. the landlord was also happy he got 2 months advance on the rent but they only stayed for a week. i hope duterte is impeached so the war on drugs is stopped and my scholars can go back to their drug lord boyfriends and i can finally play golf everyday.
sometimes i do lose my mind. one of my scholars had dengue. her mom comes to me for help buying this medicine at a pharmacy of a supposedly japanese doctor. the pharmacy was closed (probably raided by the authorities) so we go all over cebu to about a dozen freakin pharmacies trying to buy a medicine that none of the pharmacists ever heard of. finally i told the mom we should go to the doctor who wrote the prescription maybe the doctor can give us advice where to buy it .she tells me a doctor did not write it, her neighbor wrote it. i looked at the paper and it was just a piece of torn paper with some weird herbal medicine written on it. i went nuts i told her we don't need to buy that unless a doctor tells us to. but she insisted because "everyone in their barrio who had dengue drank this medicine and was cured". i did my very best to convince her about the error or flaw in the logic. i told her the mortality rate is less than 1% and even if none of her neighbors ever drank that herbal medicine they still would have been cured. but she won't undersand, she thought i was this evil person trying to kill her daughter for refusing to buy the medicine. finally i dragged her to the hospital to talk to a doctor who told her that japanese doctor was just a scam. but the mom was still so confused because to her why would it be a scam when everyone she knew who drank that medicine was cured? instead of getting angry i should just take advantage of this logical flaw and setup a similar scam. you might think it's really no big deal because my scholar's mom is uneducated. but then my mom also believes in this mangagaw myth. my mom is smart and well educated. until now i still can't make her understand her flaw in logic. it's amazing how our brains are wired differently.
12/16/18 fb post:
this is my life in the philippines. i'm a quack psychiatrist. at least she's much older compared to my last patient - my scholar told me one of her friends wants to meet me. i'm like, "sure. what's her problem? a family member is in the hospital and they need financial help?". turns out her friend just wants to jam with me. i was thinking cool, maybe she is a hot chic above 18 years old. turns out her friend was just a freakin child, 11 years old by the name of ashley chua. i know some 11 year olds look like they are 18 but this girl looked like she was 7 years old in person. i told my scholar no i cannot meet her and you should not bring her to our house. but my scholar said ashley has been to our house a few times already to see me but i was away. she even pointed to the graffitis in my room done by ashley. i'm like i thought you wrote that and ashley is just your crush in school (my scholar is bisexual). anyway, i took them swimming after making sure ashley's mom consented. ashley started talking to me about her fight with her sister and that her sister is very jealous of her, then she starts crying. i'm like whoa, i was going to hug her because she was sobbing uncontrollably good thing my scholar was nearby i told my scholar to hug her. i then told her the solution to all her problems is to date an old guy like me. JUST KIDDING !!! but the rest is really true.
nowadays i use ashley to scare my former foster kids who attempts to come back to me. usually whenever my foster kids finds a girlfriend who's family is wholesome and has a good home environment, i usually arrange for them to live with their girlfriend's family and i just pay the parents a weekly allowance for their food. to me this is ok because there is no risk of getting pregnant. of course i don't do this if it's a boyfriend. sometimes their self destructive demons act out and they intentionally sabotage their relationship in all kinds of ways and come running back to me.
i let them sleep in my house for about 2 nights to give them enough time to release their self destructive emotions. i discovered long ago that the biggest weakness with these teenagers nowadays is jealousy. they become crazy jealous when their ex ends up with someone who is beautiful or popular, even if they were the ones who broke up. they would usually block their ex on facebook so i'm the one who ends up getting bombarded with non stop messages/texts/miss calls from their ex and even the parents who already got attached to them because of their cuteness and beauty. sometimes their ex's mom would visit me because the ex will just be crying all day, won't go to school and won't eat. this happens all the time so i'm used to it. in the beginning, the mom would usually get very angry at my foster kid and won't allow her to go back to live with them anymore. but nowadays i always brief the girlfriend's parents preemptively to expect the two lovebirds to break up once in a while because in the first place they are just kids therefore they should not yet even be in a relationship. i tell them to treat my foster kid or foster kid as just another daughter instead of treating her as the girlfriend of their daughter. meaning even if my foster kid is dating or cheating with another girl, they should continue to encourage her to live with them. i also lecture them about my quack psychology theories that traumatized kids will always have difficulty keeping a relationship.
this is where ashley's star power comes into play. i pretend to play dumb and say something like, "i feel so sorry for april she is very broken hearted. i hope she feels better when they go swimming with ashley". actually this is not true but i already let my foster kid's ex know beforehand to play along with my scheme. next thing you know, my foster will be screaming at me to drive her to her ex's house. sometimes if i feel evil i try to have some fun and pretend that i have to go somewhere so i can't drive her right now. oh my gosh. it's so funny my foster kid will just erupt in a frenzy. so i take her to her ex and oh my gosh she starts acting as if she is the victim and her ex, who is now back as her girlfriend, is cheating on her. her girlfriend and the family who are also in on my scheme would just laugh. then i go home happy.
(for more of my knowledge bombs, click the "ian's knowledge bombs" banner at the top of this article and choose any article in the table of contents that piques your interest)
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