table of contents:
0) introduction - cut and paste from "politics for dummies"
1) archaeologist
2) never meet your heroes
3) involuntary psychologist
4) slumdog millionaire
5) petization of humans
6) my name is bond, james bond
7) jack of all trades, master of none
8) apple falling far from the tree
9) street cred vs. intellectual cred
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"beneath my mediocrity there is genius. then a layer of anger. then a beautiful soul. then some more anger. a lot of layers". --- (from a standup comic i forgot who)
0) introduction (skip this section if you were reading "politics for dummies")
i'm not a good or smart person relative to intellectual standards. i belong to the lumpenproletariat. but i learned that it's possible for even an engineer to listen to the janitor during the friday meetings of a workplace democracy. else the janitor's job is different from slavery only that it's temporary. i never passed any school entrance exam. i got in to good schools only because of family connections. i'm like a vegetable vendor in the slums informing einstein and karl marx not to go in a neighborhood because they might get mugged. which of course is useless because einstein will just reply - "do you have science to back that up?". then karl will leftsplain me and say there is history of benevolence and dedication to improve things in that neighborhood because some volunteers in the soup kitchens live there. while walking down a dark alley bickering, albert pissed because there is such a thing as marxism but no such thing as einsteinism, they get mugged by stalin's state tyranny, resulting in millions of deaths and suffering. but the marxist followers continue down that alley, insisting true socialism would have succeeded if it wasn't hijacked by stalin. the vegetable vendor is baffled because it's like they are saying - we would have won the basketball game if we scored more points.
human nature plays an important role in the success of a political system. unfortunately, human nature cannot be scientifically studied. fortunately, maybe our experiences and instincts can give us clues and a "good feel". this is how 19th century working class people or the precarious proletariat gained an education superior to that of the aristocrats in england. maybe the ability to make sound policy decisions depends more on the breadth, diversity, and amount of one's experiences and the quality of one's instincts rather than academic knowledge and moral principles that are too general to be useful. i will dedicate most of my time analyzing and understanding human nature using my instincts and vast experiences in the real world.
just because human nature cannot be scientifically studied, that does not mean we should just give up and ignore it totally. we can still get a good "feel" or estimate, and the better the estimate, the better our ability to make sound policy decisions for society. obviously the mass majority has the best "feel", but the conundrum is that if you are educated enough to express the feelings of your community in writing, you won't be living in a poor community that represents the majority. chances are you will be inside a university bubble earning 6 figures. if you are eccentric you would rather live in the woods like ted kaczynski. if you live in the slums or ghetto, chances are you can't write. i am like a rare hybrid bridge between intellectuals and slumdogs
1) archaelogist
i don't have the eloquence and grammatical prowess of a professional writer. but i'm pretty sure the writings of cavemen and ancient egyptians had worse english grammar and vocabulary than me. cavemen writings are not exactly patrician and they are devoid of epigrammatic wit. yet our scientists would walk on fire if that's what it takes to read and understand their writings. why? think about that for a second while i go to a corner and whine - mommy nobody would read my writings !!! that's unfair !!!
imagine a strange fantasy world where in an election, the vote of a poorly educated person in the slums counts the same as a super intellectual. oh wait. that is our world. that means understanding the feelings of the mass population is also important. what if the writings of the mass population is even more alien or out of this world than the cavemen in such a way that, the writings don't even exist? no problem - social scientists or intellectuals can just go to the slums to study them. no need to dig for fossils.
so intellectuals go to the slums to study poor people and to their surprise, they discover that poor people are amazing. they would be good decision makers in a true democracy. using the process of elimination and induction, the only reason why poor people are suffering from poverty is because of oppression from the powerful elites. but maybe it's because intellectuals only meet with the community leaders and political prisoners who obviously became leaders because of their exceptional character so their personality is probably not a good statistical sample. and even if an intellectual lives and communes with the rest of the community for a year, what if the folks highly revere the intellectual so they are always at their best behavior when they are around him? using my gay analogy, what if the poor folks don't come out of the closet for fear they might disappoint the intellectual?
2) never meet your heroes
luckily, there are clues to my recent questions. during the marcos era, leftist intellectuals were our guiding light in that 3rd world dystopia. you know the drill - election fraud, corruption, etc ... the usual dictatorship goodies. unfortunately, marcos was deposed and now we have fair elections. be careful what you wish for. intellectuals are starting to realize that it's the people that's the problem. it's not the government. the powerful elite is just a reflection of the people. the rich and poor deserve each other. i don't know why the poor majority voted a erap. maybe because elections are really not a true democracy or they don't really get to decide on issues that really matter to them so they lose hope and succumb to their emotions.
erap was a political theater that makes trump seem like a snooze fest. at first the intellectuals were dishing out witty jokes and vilifying erap. soon they realized they were basically just blaming a shark for biting human beings. i know intellectuals can be naive but they can't be that naive to expect anyone to not accept the presidency if it was handed down on a sliver platter. it's like thanks for electing me folks but i will immediately resign because i did not even graduate high school. they should be blaming the vast majority for voters. but that would be denouncing the same people they venerated and dedicated their lives to. the philippines is a leftist's worst nightmare.
i remember my classmate in high school mark tolentino posting on our egroup that the solution is to only allow educated people to vote. imagine one of the most humane and stand-up person i've ever known is suddenly wishing that uneducated people should not be allowed to vote. he is not some babbling idiot like me nobody pays attention to. mark has been the provincial administrator of our province cebu for the last 6 years, and on top of that our province has been the #1 province in the country and has become world class in terms of economy, peace and order and fiscal responsibility. we have a huge budget surplus. mark is also chief of staff to the governor and their adminstration makes the danish and norwegian government look like idi amin. maybe i'm just exaggerating but i recently just saw the governor in the airport lining up at the check in counter, alone, no staff, and nobody paying attention to him, as if he is just a regular citizen. that's unprecedented as far as i know.
i also went ballistic. i wasn't a blogger yet during the erap era but the misbehavior of the poor masses continued long after. 6 years ago i wrote these articles that looks like i should belong to a mental institution - https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2013/08/pork-barrel-scam.html, https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2013/01/how-to-get-your-share-of-200-billion.html
war heroes are just raging alcoholics. captains of industries are just maniacal psychopaths. teachers are just control freaks. rock stars are just drug junkies. scout masters and foster parents like me are just pedophiles. leftists are just neurotics. poor people are just incompetents too lazy to even throw their trash in the garbage can. never meet your heroes because they're sure to disappoint you. now that the intellectuals have finally met their heroes, the awkward situation caused an exodus of filipino intellectuals to canada were they thought there are less gay people, even violating the activist dogma of never leaving your country behind (you have to read the parent article to understand the gay reference).
there was a time when my leftist friends consider the communist guerrillas their heroes. the in fighting between their leaders revealed they can also be the worse people in the world. although i envy the commanders because they have first taste of the women recruits - NPA commander gets first taste on women recruits
3) involuntary psychologist
the classmate of my foster kid confessed to me she wants to commit suicide even if we were acquainted with each other for only a week. when i talked to her parents about it, i was shocked to learn her parents had no idea what was going on with her, even if they were the ones who raised her. since then, i have been sacrificing my time using all my god given talents, abilities and everything i learned from dr. drew and adam corolla's radio show to save her. when they lived in mindanao, she was kidnapped and raped by "_____" bandits and about to be shipped to another country to be sold as a sex slave (an ancient tradition of the "____" that's why the spaniards built baluartes in coastal towns. i have to redact some words because i normally post excerpts of my writings on facebook and facebook takes it down if i include words that are taboo). i agree it's unfair because white people from north-west europe also conquered and butchered the world. her mom narrated to me how it was like a divine intervention when the philippine marines accidentally encountered the bandits so they had to leave her behind to lighten up their load while they were being chased by the marines. i'm not a psychologist so if you are a therapist with some spare time maybe you can help. search in my friends list for amber tan. my facebook is ian crystal. as of this moment she has tubercolosis and she refuses to take the medicine the doctors prescribed her. as usual her parents don't even know she has tuberculosis because she begged me not to tell them. why is it ok for me to know but not her parents? what is so special about me?
if a girl won't even reveal her true colors to her loving parents, it's possible the poor people in the slums will not show their true colors to the jane goodall intellectual living with them to research them. i contrast, i have this rare personality where people are immediately comfortable with me and not ashamed to show me their true colors or reveal to me the darkest bowels of their soul. this is true wherever i travel anywhere in the world. i think it's because i project a presence like that of a lesser creature. you won't be ashamed to get naked in front of a dog won't you? the downside of this is i almost got shot in the head with a pistol because the owner of the hotel i was staying at in russia forced me to drink vodka and got angry when i had to refuse because alcohol gives me throat infection. i had to choose between bullet in the head or soar throat. of course i chose the latter or i won't be here right now accusing everyone of being gay. if i was a respectable leftist intellectual the hotel owner would have behaved like a saint in front of me like what he did with the other guests. you don't have to go to school to learn that if you own a business you should treat your customers well because they are your bread and butter. unless that customer is a lesser creature so feel free pointing a gun on his head and enjoy the fun. that's business 101. if i say the hotel owner is a psychopath, the leftist intellectual will think i'm just an ignorant bigot because i don't have science to back up my claim. but if leftists can just taste a sample of my life experiences they would intentionally advocate for an ideology that makes people suffer just to punish mankind.
when i was young i married a nice lady from my home town. she was admired and adored by everyone. after we got married she immediately applied for credit cards in my name, maxed them all out with things like gold jewelry and ran off with another guy, leaving me with a mountain of debt. she revealed to me her true colors. but even the smartest intellectuals would never know she is not fit to participate in a democracy even if they are lifetime best friends.
4) slumdog millionaire
i come from a wealthy family and i went to the best schools. so why would i want to hang out in the stinky and dangerous slums?
ever since i was a kid, the most important thing to me is to be with a girl i'm attracted to. the problem is my standard of physical beauty is too high for my own good so my only chance is for a girl to want me for economic benefits. that's why i frequent the slums. i am literally a slumdog millionaire. by the way that movie gave me pleasant childhood flashbacks especially that scene when the slumdogs were being chased by the airport police. but instead of playing cricket we used to fly kites in a nearby airfield which of course is a hazard to the planes so our cat and mouse games with the airport cops are part of my fond childhood memories.
there are lots of youtube exposes about the slums but no amount of youtube documentaries can make a person truly feel that the slums belong to a different world. when i was a kid i did not even let my closest friends borrow my bike because they will sell it to buy drugs and pretend they got mugged and my bike got stolen. i don't think that's normal in denmark so that's why i think true democracy may be good for denmark but it might be a disaster in other places. although unlike the movie, i went to school for powerful elites and future oligarchs so my childhood best friends covered the entire economic spectrum. even as an adult, i worked with and became dear friends with the likes of MIT and cornell graduates in silicon valley but also dated slumdog or barrio lass beauties in the philippines.
of course there are many rags to riches stories but usually they are psychopaths who are too busy accumulating wealth and contributing to global warming. they do come back to the slums to give back to the poor if they are planning to run for office. there are slum kids who study hard and become normal successful professionals. but they are the minority and they only interact with each other. unlike me whose childhood friends are mostly dead, in jail, or drug junkies. they also tend to not become activists because they know slum dwellers are not really suffering. that's why activists are mostly high intellectuals who are going gaga over the plight of the poor because they think all humans have the same standard and they can't imagine themselves in the same situation as poor people.
5) petization of humans
don't get me wrong. charities and social programs do help but in reality they are just helping kids who already have inborn traits that would eventually make them successful in life anyway even without the social programs. but the charities and programs do help make the path to their success much easier which is still a gift. and by "success" i mean not become a criminal ora prostitute drug junky. meanwhile the kids who really do need help won't even come near the charity programs and would flee and hide in terror when they know the angel activists are coming. especially for good looking girls because chances are they are already living the high life and own iphones given to them by their drug dealer boyfriends or the cop they are shacking up with. meanwhile the ugly ones would rather die than weave baskets or go to school. unfortunately for them this is not america where their counterparts are given cute labels such as ADHD or bipolar disorder. in the philippines they are simply called dumb, lazy or disobedient. believe me i wasn't thrilled to death when i learned these kids who can't be helped by charity or social programs are actually a whopping 10% of the population - Jordan Peterson: IQ, Race & The "Jewish Question". by no stretch of the imagination was that the case. the good news is they can still be saved via personal and close mentoring by brave and kind hearted people who finds them cute, fun and adorable and care for them and love them like pets (https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/08/knowledge-bombs-on-marijuana-and-foster-care.html). jordan peterson is a harvard scientist but i proved him wrong because i successfully trained these kids to do laundry (https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2019/01/economical-laundry-setup-for-my-scholars.html), clean my airbnb property (https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2021/08/cleaning-gig-for-troubled-youths.html), wash my car, and be my street hawk (https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2019/03/eat-like-a-king.html). just like NGO volunteers in nepal - Nepal Cracks Down On NGO Workers Exploiting Children
when they are 20 years old and not cute anymore, they are disposed like trash if they were unlucky enough to be under the wings of a wicked pervert (redundant?). but fortunately there is still a place for them down the food chain where they work as bar girls servicing the needs of lonely old foreigners. so if you are a leftist who is wondering why filipinos love americans despite the atrocities of the past, that's because americans pick up our scraps. i watched that great movie about the leader of the philippine revolution against the americans named general luna where he said, "our enemy is not the americans. it's us".
when one of my foster kids becomes a waitress or wife to a taxi driver who comes home drunk and sometimes beats her up, that's still considered success. especially if she has kids of her own because chances are (90% according to the jordan peterson video) those kids will be successful enough to take care of their mom when i'm too old to ensure they don't end up sleeping on the sidewalk.
i admit i'm creepy and it's more cool to spend thousands on your cute labrador and have hundreds of likes in facebook for being an animal lover. i admit a cute shih tzu is more valuable than a slum dog kid. that's why if you follow the stock market one the of the strongest bull markets right now is the humanization of pets bull market. but to me petization of humans is more enjoyable and gratifying. i get a good laugh every time my friends ridicule me for driving a junky car because i would rather use my money to pay for the dialysis treatment of my foster kid's grandmother. i know i'm weird and it's more hip to buy those expensive organic health foods for your pet than buy insulin for your diabetic neighbor. but i get the last laugh because while pet owners boast that their dog can fetch a stick, my dogs can cook my food, read, write and even do algebra. in your face !!!
people ask me how i can enjoy life around kids with such sad stories. i reply that robin williams was a sadder story yet we enjoy watching his movies. we idolize the singer of cranberries but she recently died in a bath tub alone and drunk. the past of my foster kids maybe be sad but they are very happy when they are with me.
speaking of diabetes, maybe the left is right that the powerful elite is causing most of the sufferings of the poor because coke and pepsi are part of the powerful elite but in a way i'm also right because no one ever pointed a gun on the head of my foster kid's diabetic grandmother and forced her to drink pepsi (bad joke)
6) my name is bond, james bond
my zero charisma is complemented with exceptional EQ which enables me to easily blend in and feel at home in the slums or any place in the world. wherever i travel people tend to mistake me for a local because they speak to me in their dialect and become surprise when they learn i'm a foreigner. i can pass for a middle eastern, latino, chinese, african, and even a chechnyan when i'm in russia. i come from a wealthy class but i look like a slum dweller. even in the middle east, i easily make friends and they immediately open up their soul to me, at times going off on an anti-american tirade even if they know i'm an american citizen. a perfume vendor in egypt scared the living crap out of me when his eyes were bulging out and veins on his neck looked like it was about to burst while expressing his anger towards tony blair. then he offered one of his wives to me just so that i won't go back home. good times.
honestly i genuinely enjoy and value the friendships that i make wherever i go. i'm a very talkative person and i don't just talk about nonsense. i love to talk about people's dreams, aspirations, and their personal problems. this has given me a very good "feel" for the entire spectrum of human nature. maybe it's something that you can't just acquire by reading books and journals all your life or meeting with revolutionary leaders or community representatives. a leftist intellectual will probably become horrified and culture shocked if a poor slumdog will show their true colors and reveal that poor people are not screw ups because they are poor. they are poor because they are screw ups. i still enjoy their companionship because hating the poor for their shortcomings would be like hating a lovable labrador because you can't teach it algebra.
7) jack of all trades, master of none
if you look at the table contents of my blog, it captures the breadth, diversity, and quality of my exposure to humans. i did not just touch many aspects of life but actually spent blood, sweat and tears and interacted, struggled, fought and became dear friends with almost an entire spectrum of real human participants. as what the poorly educated manny pacquiao said in his speech at oxford, welcome to the open university of life.
it's time for the lightning round ----- from collecting scrap copper wires to sell and collecting mosquito larvae in the dirtiest canals of a 3rd world country for my pet fish hobby to working as an advanced software engineer and supervisor with the best and brightest of mankind in silicon valley - graduates from the best schools in the world like MIT and oxford. from getting electrocuted by a high voltage wire while trying to catch a fighting spider as a slumdog kid and later growing up to be a stock trader and savvy investor. i even did agriculture when i was a kid - raised chickens (poultry) and planted peanuts. i also live in the techie, handy man, technician, and mechanic's world. as a child i made my own scooter out of wood and surplus wheel bearings and fixed my own cars as an adult. i even have a car repair video that has 36,500 views in youtube (fixing the rattling sound of a mazda 5). in america i experienced all kinds of odd jobs - worked in a warehouse, was a union member that went on strike while working on horse race tracks as a betting machine technician. i was a courier delivering medical supplies and devices to homes in remote areas. when i was a teenager i was a gangster. i participated in gang wars. i almost got shot in the head while stealing mangoes from a mango farm. almost got shot in the head again when me and my friends where peeping on a couple having sex one night in the airport runway and the guy turned out to be a colonel in the army and the lady was his mistress (thank god for internet porn, nowadays kids are safe from getting shot in the head). i also used to be quite religious when i was young. joined a few religious organizations. a nature lover - i do lots of snorkling, hiking, camping, and biking. i spent most of my childhood climbing various types of fruit trees just so i can have snacks because i didn't have allowance. i was a brown belt in karate. i was into kite making and kite flying for many summers during my childhood. i'm also quite an academic - graduated computer science with cum laude honors from a prestigious university and also played for the coveted men's varsity basketball team for about a year (a rare combination). in snowboarding, i joined the swatch boardercross tour competitions (2000-2002). in golf, i passed the PGA player's ability and shot a hole in 1 in a big tournament which won me P2 million and got my picture in the sports page of the local newspaper. i've experienced severely heartbreaking losses and miraculous victories.
(during the housing crisis in america, i actually laughed so hard when i saw in the news people were stealing copper wires on abandoned homes. i thought that only happened in third world countries).
i was also in a rock band for a couple of years. can't afford our own instruments, but instead of blaming the powerful elite, we made our own. for the drum heads we used plastic cement sacks and fastened them with spare interior tire tubes to steel drums. for the cymbals we bore a thousand holes on a steel drum cover plate and inserted looped wires so it makes the snare sounds. we carved our own electric guitars and made our own pickups by winding a copper wire 8 thousand times by hand. the way we improvised the foot pedal and foot cymbal was so ingenious that it amused everyone when i brought the drum set to school one day to perform a concert. i also play the piano and guitar. i don't even have any musical talent but until now i still post youtube videos of me performing music. i'm such a clown.
many of my experiences are captured in my music videos - click the "load more" button at the bottom of my youtube page to view the complete list of my videos - https://www.youtube.com/user/scratchrider260/videos)
8) apple falling far from the tree
i come from a good tree. my family are people with strong moral and family values. i'm the black sheep of my family - https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2019/05/apple-falling-far-from-the-tree.html
9) street cred vs intellectual cred
in the following video, thank god a leftist intellectual was not piloting the plane or he would have crashed the plane as what they have done time and time again in history. if europe becomes a true democracy the corrupt cartels will just be replaced by corrupt union leaders. that is why a taxi driver in athens would not be enthusiastic about diem25.
12/17/19 facebook comment:
there was a post in one of the chomsky facebook group about chomsky not knowing who yoda is (Noam Chomsky has "never heard of Baby Yoda" and has "no thoughts about memes"). many comments criticized the post saying chomsky has no time for unimportant things. here was my comment:
if chomsky's goal is to improve society, then he needs to relate to people so he can be as popular like howard stern by simply giving pop culture references in his speeches such as baby yoda so his message can be heard by more people in youtube (like joe rogan). if chomsky's goal is to simply be the most moral and righteous and knowledgeable person in the world, then this post is useless and irritating. also chomsky is anti elitist that's why he is a bakuninist and criticized marx for thinking the proletariat needs to be educated first before they can participate in the councils. this is the conundrum in activism. if you have so much important factual and scientific knowledge then chances are you are living in the academic, ethical or moral bubble and cannot "feel" the important factors that cannot be scientifically studied and documented as fact or knowledge. you end up advocating for something that sounds good only in theory but will end up in disaster in the real world. on the other hand if you have a very good "feel" for unmeasurable but important factors that affect our society such as human nature (which according to chomsky cannot be scientifically studied), then chances are you don't now how to write and cannot document your feelings. i belong to the immoral and low intellect subworld which is the whopping majority of human society (leftists will never agree with this but look no further than the percentage of porn traffic in the internet) (https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2019/04/my-street-cred.html). so i thought it would be adventurous to write about my feelings that i'm sure is shared by the average human being. so here it is - https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/.../politics-for-dummies.... a leftist told me pictures of beautiful women don't belong in the political arena. i replied there will no political arena if we all die due to climate change. the howard sterns, hue heffners and chomsky tribes should unite to repel and invading army and should not bother about their personality differences. also, most construction workers make cat calls at sexy women passing by and note that in a true democracy you cannot exclude these people from the council meetings.
(for more of my knowledge bombs, click the "ian's knowledge bombs" banner at the top of this article and choose any article in the table of contents that piques your interest)
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