my 15 year old scholar asked for help on a "legalization of marijuana" debate they will be having in school (before that she had to do a video about birth control, including how to put on a condomn. and before that she had to buy a massage table for their massage class. a knowledge bomb trifecta !!! (but worry not because it's a good sign philippine society is pragmatic. massage class is now an elective in public high schools to the demise of the super idealistic and unrealistic national pride progressive left wing liberals and their "cookie cutter", "one-size fits all" policies or "everyone is the same" mentality - read item "5) INBORN APTITUDE" in https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2017/10/education-racket.html before you get hysterical).
so i wrote her a garden variety (pardon the pun) opening debate speech filled with pro legalization arguments you've probably heard a million times (i pasted a copy at the end of this article).
i never stop analyzing and learning about people. recently i realized an argument against legalization you probably never heard of -
"marijuana should be illegal to trick kids with self destructive personality that they are destroying themselves when they smoke marijuana. if marijuana is legalized they will get an impression marijuana is not that destructive so they will resort to meth or shabu instead which is more destructive"
a mental, emotional or behavioral disorder can never be cured and one of the common disorder is having a self destructive personality. they need to feel they are destroying themselves and right now the more accessible source of destruction is marijuana because duterte's war on hard drugs made the more dangerous drugs much harder to get (although that does not mean you should support duterte because his methods also has many negatives). marijuana is a blessing in disguise because it only lessens one's quality of life, not destroy it. but if marijuana is legalized, the kids might think maybe it's not that destructive because it's legal so they will seek the illegal drugs which is more destructive.
i got to know many of these kids very closely because they come to me for help. i'm the only one who understands them and can tolerate them because i have years of quack psychology experience. working with them i learn more about human behavior and they give me a chance to do something more meaningful in life. it's not much different from taking care of pets except it's way more challenging and the things i learn are very useful and can be applied to my other aspects of life. some people ask me why i make sacrifices taking care of these kids. i tell them same reason why people take care of pets. i find them adorable and it pains me to see them suffer. except my foster kids are smarter than dogs and can cook my favorite food and even manage my airbnb properties. i don't know anyone who is qualified or capable of doing what i'm doing. of course i'm not a billionaire so my resources are limited therefore i have to prioritize those that are more vulnerable, high risk and still has a chance for success in life.
how can i enjoy being around kids whose situation is so sad? i'm sure you would have loved to hang out with the singer of cranberries. she was lonely when she died. she drowned in a bathtub. i can also ask you why you enjoy taking care of a dog who will never go to school, can never talk, and cannot even wash dishes. i'm sure you are aware that different species have different standards but what you are missing is that different humans also have different standards (https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2019/06/inborn-aptitudes-and-standards.html).
while wall street is touting the humanization of pets bull market, i'm starting a petization of humans. c'mon i'm not a bad person i'm just like newt and they are my fantastic beasts (that movie threw me off i really thought jacob and queenie will be the parents of harry). so you help a shitzu wandering the streets but ignore those poor street kids? what the fuck's the matter with you people ??? i'm just messing with you.
don't get me wrong those foundation and DSWD programs are great. they help accelerate and elevate the success of kids who were destined to be successful no matter what. let's say a kid in extreme poverty has no means to get an education. a charity program can help that kid become a teacher or call center agent. without the charity or government assistance program, that kid will end up being a domestic helper or working in a karinderia. there really is nothing wrong with being a domestic helper to me THAT IS STILL CONSIDERED A SUCCESS !!! if you are shocked by what i just said, that means you are clueless or living in a bubble. you may be highly educated and probably a phd in the areas of urban or socio economic development but you are like karl marx who was super smart but forgot to take into consideration the core soul (for lack of better term), true spirit and diversity of human beings (i know marxism is participatory socialism which is total opposite of state socialism in soviet and china but what makes them both a disaster is the inability to take into consideration certain imperfections of humans. i will soon write about this more in detail.). many of the factors that need to be considered in shaping government policies and programs cannot be quantified and measured. you can't just look at numbers and statistics. example i bet many educated people have no clue if i ask them if it's comfortable to swim in 70 degree fahrenheit water.
and i hate to say this but the ugly truth is that it's actually very rare for a kid to have no means to get educated. usually there are relatives and even neighbors who would always be willing to welcome a child in their home and support his/her schooling. that is why liberal progressives are clueless when they accuse right wing conservatives of being evil or cruel for not pumping more money into welfare programs. in the slums a child is not necessarily a burden and can even be an asset - maybe look after the infant after school so the mom can go sell barbecue at the sidewalk. don't you know why a couple in the slums who could barely feed themselves pop out 9 kids? this may sound ridiculous but their mentality is that an additional child is actually an economic asset, not an additional burden. maybe with their newborn, soon they now have someone who could fetch water from a far away tabay or well.
so the ugly truth is that if a kid is not gong to school, chances are no government or charity assistance program can make that kid go to school due to either 1) severe trauma they experienced in childhood or 2) they were just born with a behavioral or personality disorder. example one of my foster kid's mom was stabbed to death while she was carrying her in her arms while she was just 5 years old. she fell hard and saw her mom bleed to death. trauma can cause so much instability such that these kids would rather commit suicide than weave baskets or manicure someone's feet (don't mean to dis your AISEC project for junquera bro :-).
but within this SPECTRUM there are kids who are willing to go to school but they want to be free to do anything they want like smoke, drink and no curfew restrictions. i call this the "EXHAUST PIPE FOR THEIR RADIOACTIVE TRAUMA ENERGY". but this is impossible. no upstanding relative or foster parent or government program would ever allow a child to come home 3 am in the morning drunk. many of these kids even come from rich families. they have many rich close relatives who gave up on them or kicked them out of the house. so the beautiful 12 year old girl ends up shacking up with a drug dealer, on a clear path towards becoming a prostitute drug junkie. which is disappointing because there is an area of the spectrum where if you just give them a decent home and tolerate their minor vices and give them an exhaust pipe for their radioactive trauma energy, they can still come out of the jungle in one piece. maybe get married to a seaman or taxi driver and still have a meaningful and successful life.
some of these supposedly "uncontrollable" kids i fostered are now even well settled down. one is a call center agent (jovelyn), 2 works at mcdonalds (reda and mj), and another one works at a grocery store (angel). they tell me if it wasn't for me they would be working in bars snorting meth shabu and getting fucked by disgusting old foreigners every night. nowadays they still drink and smoke but guess what? i come from the top school in the country and many of my wildly successful classmates also drink and smoke.
i notice the root of the problem why their rich relatives don't want to have anything to do with them is it's normal for upstanding and successful people to be "control freaks". there has to be "structure". it comes with the territory of success and high quality of life. this emotion or instinct is so strong such that it can overwhelm their instinct to care for their niece or grand daughter. so they end up doing something very contradictory - they get angry at their niece for coming home 3 am in the morning because they care for their niece and don't want anything bad to happen to her so they kick her out of the house and so their beautiful 13 year old niece ends up shacking up with a drug dealer. simply ridiculous. it's like "i don't want you to have a wound on your hand so let me cut your arm so you will never have a wounded hand".
there has to be a middle ground for these traumatized kids. that is why i'm very impressed with the philippine government's pragmatic educational system that offers night school for kids belonging to this narrow area of spectrum. the school always lets them pass even if the kid is absent for 1 month. it's even the teacher's job to actually go to the slums and look for their student who hasn't attended school for quite a while. the night school faculty's mission is to be more of a babysitter and less of an educator. i remember the principal hitching a ride with us and my foster kids complaining to her that one of their male teachers keeps touching them and the principal said "ay sus pasagdi na inyo maestro kay badlungung kaayo na" (don't mind your teacher he is very had headed). note this is night school. day school is a totally different world where if you touch a student you get fired or go to jail. the day public schools in the philippines are great.
the philippine government even goes further than night school. there is this program called ALS (alternative learning system) where a kid only has to go to school twice a week. incredible !!! some of my more traumatized foster kids actually go to ALS. it's better than nothing.
so the middle ground between living with a rich aunt and shacking up with a drug dealer is a quazi foster parent like me - single, successful, caring but creepy. why creepy? because the reason why i enjoy taking care of these teenage girls is i find them adorable or attractive. the ugly truth is that there are too few heroes who would give up their time, money and energy to help these kids out of sheer charity. there are also legal risks involved. the other night i had to pick up my foster kids from curfew jail in sambag II baranggay hall and the officials told me if the kids get arrested 1 more time for violating the curfew i will be the one arrested and will have to do community service like sweep the streets. a better solution of course is a foster care system similar to the one in america where foster parents are vetted and paid but philippines can't afford that.
there are actually a lot of people like me who really do help and mentor these teenagers with nowhere to go because they feel heaven when they are around these kids. if you live in the mainstream bubble where your only exposure to this underworld sub culture is in the movies and tv shows where for sure in the movie the old dude ends up raping or molesting the child (because if not then it won't be an interesting movie), then of course you will be horrified with this blog article. of course the danger of abuse is there and of course it does happen but it's like riding an airplane. if you just look at all the plane crashes that has happened in history you will be too afraid to ride a plane. imagine what our lives will be if no one rides an airplane. similarly, these kids will be much worse if not mentored in a micro or personal level. a government institution/system or private charity/foundation won't be of much help for these traumatized kids. real world is never perfect. it's always a gray area, a middle ground, or compromise. trying to be perfect usually just worsens the problems. example, capitalism is cruel and greedy, so a brilliant and good hearted karl marx tried to perfect society by inventing communism and it just resulted in billions of people suffering. we have to pick the lesser evil.
you've probably heard of the saying "all men are pigs" (or "most men are pigs" to be more precise). the "pigs" see me with my very beautiful foster kids and tell me they are envious and they call me their "idol". on the other hand the karl marxes or the rare few good men and women who are not "pigs" consider me a pedophile who should go to jail.
it is illegal for a minor to live with an adult who is not a relative. there are some cases where it's best for the child to be admitted to a government institution (dswd) and i always explore or try this as the first option, but if i even mention the word dswd to the child they will attempt to commit suicide. they tell me they've heard horror stories that they don't have freedom and the food is horrible. they would rather shack up with a drug dealer.
that is why i'm also impressed by this feature of the philippine government structure called the "baranggay" that serves as a pragmatic "cushion" to the federal law. the baranggay is given the power to enforce and circumvent certain laws (not all laws of course) using a case by case basis. it's more efficient because the baranggay is a more personal level that gives them more intimate knowledge of each case so there is less need for standard procedures or protocols that will only bankrupt the country if all cases have to go through these protocols. example when i brought my foster kid jovelyn capuno to barrio luz baranggay hall in cebu city, they already knew me and her situation so they immediately signed the authorization for jovelyn to live with me. now 3 years later jovelyn is successful working as a call center agent.
education is easy, education can be fun but it's hard to teach work ethic because i think it's more of an inborn personality. but that does not stop me from trying. i brainwash my pets to think hard work is cooler than being a famous actress or singer (using trumpish out of the box tactics). my scholars used to be very lazy and soft and just wants to party and get easy money. i tell them materialism is just temporary, fake and empty happiness and once you get devirginized with the taste of your first hard earned pay check, you will feel true joy, pride and dignity. at first they won’t believe me. i have to start world war 3 to convince them but when they do lose their virginity they tell me it’s an amazing feeling they can’t explain. one time the barkada of augusto go, the owner the university mj goes to, jogs every morning and stops by mcdonalds in escario for coffee where mj works and they became good friends (wink wink). one day mj told my other foster kids that they should believe my annoying sermons because the old dudes, which she idolizes, tell her the same things i say in my sermons. hehehe
i force them to do practice a drill – whenever there is a celebrity in the mall, while everyone is running towards the celebrity to get their autograph, they would instead have to get an autograph and selfie with a security guard, a janitor or a salesperson in the mall. i tell them marian rivera is nothing compared to the security guards, jeepney drivers, etc … who toil blood and sweat all their life to raise kids and send them to school. marian rivera is just lucky she was born with beauty and talent.
i used to drive 3 hours to the mountains every weekend to snowboard and it was soooooo tiring and painful even if it was a freeway auto cruise with aircon/heater. imagine a jeepney driver who has to endure heat, pollution, manual shifting, stop and go every corner, no power steering, and give change to passengers. they do this for 12 hours a day. not for 1 day a week, but everyday. not for a month or a year but all their life until they die an early death from all the stress, poor nutrition and pollution. they are the unsung heroes of our society, considering public transpo is the backbone of our economy. so while most of you would scream and shout like crybabies when a jeepney stops in the middle of the road to load/unload a passenger, i salute and feel honored because i know their muscles are already sore and their body is drained to have to pull over to the side of the road just to load/unload a passenger.
i used to tell them about the ballerina from tondo, jessa balote, to inspire them. but then i realized jessa is a bad example because she just happens to be gifted and talented. of course she also worked hard and persevered but i don't like my scholars to get the wrong idea that being famous or doing what you love for a living is the definition of success. they might take the example too literally instead of just making it an example of hardwork and perseverance. because what happens if they can't be a professional singer, dancer or actress? they might lose their self esteem and relapse back to drug use as a coping mechanism.
there is a difference between a person working in mcdonalds and a person "biologically immersed" in mcdonalds. mcdonalds is just a symbolic term to mean fast food like jollibee, dimsum express, etc .. "working in mcdonalds" could mean you hate the job and you are always tired. but "biologically immersed" is like me with golf - it's physically exhausting but i enjoy it and i can't live without it. once they are biologically immersed at mcdonalds, they are economically secure for the rest of their life. they can afford to live in a decent boarding house (P1,500 a month), never go hungry, buy the trendiest clothes (P50 - P300 knock off brands in the night market of tausog and maranao muslims), even travel to the best beaches in the world - bantayan and moal-boal (P300 aircon bus fare), etc ...
contrast this to their next option - working as a bar girl which usually leads to drugs and prostitution because of the desolate environment. it starts with working in a hot and humid eatery for 12 hours - there are no part time jobs in these eateries and the heat and humidity eventually wears them down because of their mixed blood european genes not adopted to this environment (unlike the native genes who is more adopted to heat and humidity), some work in the malls as salesladies which is aircon but there is no stimulation and it's 8 hours (no part time) which eventually leads to severe boredom and burn out. so they end up in a bar or being a mistress to rich dirty old men where they are just disposed off like trash when they age and lose their beauty. then they go down the food chain to old foreigners or tourists who will still find them attractive.
i always stress and emphasize to my foster kids to work only 4 hours or part time. it prevents burn out. burn out causes los of motivation or desire to work. worse, it could cause permanent animosity towards work. i even scold them if they work 8 hours. burn out is very deceptive. you may feel fine in the beginning and it's something you won't notice. the trick is to leave work feeling like you still want to work some more. this keeps you wanting to go back the next day. it's funny because i treat working 8 hours like drug abuse. one of my scholars started working 8 hours in mcdonalds instead of only 4 hours because she wanted to buy an iphone. luckily her friend tattled on her so i scolded her and scared her that if she continues to work 8 hours she will one day end up working in a bar snorting meth and being fucked by a different foreigner every night. she went back to working 4 hours. it's always a case by case basis. for normal people, working 8 hours is perfect. but these kids experienced childhood trauma and they have weaker genes so i have to prescribe a much lower daily dosage of the self esteem pill. note this is something i just pulled out of my ass. i'm not an expert on anything or i'm just a quack intellectual.
people will always eat. we are a long ways from humans inventing a pill to substitute for food or we only have to eat like once a week. 50 years from now fast food will still be important. it does not matter what economic or political system - dictatorship, capitalist, communist - there will always be a job in fast food.
please support my part time law advocacy. here's how you can help - https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2020/03/part-time-opportunity-law.html
what about the need to have a job that uses creativity? the great thing about humans that super intellectual ignore (at their own peril) is that normal human beings (except those with mental/emotional defects) are all equal only in terms of content and happiness. of course there is so much inequality in terms of wealth and living standards, but that is really caused by inequality of inborn abilities or competence. what's great about it is that i noticed that if a person has lower incompetence, they also have lower standards when it comes to quality of life. so a person can still be content and happy as long as their standards and competency match or are compatible (https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2019/06/inborn-aptitudes-and-standards.html). fortunately, less competent people have less need for creativity and less desire to participate in controlling the means of production (it's so insignificant that most people including me have no idea what that means).
the problem is it's a very narrow segment of the spectrum and you need many years of experience and knowledge of the lower pedigrees of society to get a feel or ability to identify which juvenile teenager has a chance to be "biologically immersed in mcdonalds". some are just hopeless, others it's beneath them - they have the potential to be call center agents or even public school teachers. the good news is there is no harm in trying for a higher goal even if they end up settling for a lower goal. the only harm is it will waste my time, money and energy, but i never really regret it. it's always worth the try. i just enjoy the journey and not worry about the destination. example the other day i laughed so hard when one of them asked me for help on her project and told me to just "cut and paste in MICROSCOPE word". it's really like having pets where you get amused at their nuances.
next step down? having a child with a boyfriend from a good family. the next area in the spectrum that these kids belong to are those that are too traumatized to develop work ethic or attend school. i coach them by telling them that the best quality they should find in a boyfriend is one who belongs to a good decent family that is economically stable. i constantly scare them that this is their last survival card and they will be sleeping in the sidewalk when they are 40 years old and lost their beauty if they refuse to make an effort. even if the boyfriend goes astray and the relationship does not work out, as long as they maintain a good relationship with the parents, they will always be taken cared of, at least have something to eat and a roof above their head. that is why i coach them to make an effort to make themselves indispensable to the family. make them worry that you might not be around anymore to do the groceries, cook or do laundry. kiss up to the parents. even if the parents still won't like them, any decent human being will never allow their grand child to suffer and it's logical that a child will also suffer if they know their mother suffering so the grandparents of the child will have no choice but to at least give them a decent place to stay and something to eat. this is actually a common situation. when the child is old enough, chances are the child inherited the strong genes of the boyfriend's family so there is a good chance the child will now be able to take care of them.
example, there is this adorable kid named brianna who came to me for help (brianna taylor abad in facebook). (she has a cast on her arm in the photo below because she crashed and totaled my motorbike when she took it out for a joy ride in the middle of the night and broke her arm). i always try to find their relatives and convince them to understand these are traumatized kids. i was surprised to learn brianna's granparents and aunts were very rich on both sides of the family. her dad's side belong to the rich and powerful seno and oano clan. her grandmother owns many properties and her dad's sister owns the mini cooper car dealership in mandaue and a gas station. her grandmother on her mom's side also owns a hotel (maanyag pension house in mandaue). none of them would let brianna live with them or help brianna financially. they will only take brianna in if she obeys their curfew and religious rules like not having a same sex relationship. but there is no way brianna can live up to these rules because of her trauma. to me it's like brianna has a wound on her arm so they try to solve the problem by cutting brianna's arm. i even asked her grandmother on her dad's side (seno) to at least pay for her boarding house and give her food. they don't have to give her money they can just ask one of their many helpers and employees pay the boarding house and buy her groceries regularly. this way brianna won't be endangered living with old creepy perverts like me. brianna's grandmother on her mom's side is a very close friend of my mother (tita diday) so i did not really try to explain to her about the best way to help brianna for fear i might end up insulting or offending her. i just update her on brianna's situation.
brianna is a good kid but too traumatized so i can never get her to go to school or mold her to have work ethics. at first i thought no problem because she is good looking i'm sure a nice hardworking guy will one day fall in love with her and have kids with her. but after 3 years with me (she is now 17) i noticed she can't maintain a relationship. again i was hoping it's because she is just a kid. just this year she had a boyfriend named raven who comes from a decent, economically well off and wholesome family and is doing well in college. i notice the relationship was going very well and the family of raven offered brianna to live with them knowing her situation. i was soooooo happy for her especially the parents were good decent people.
i started to coach brianna to try to impress raven's parents by helping out around the house like cleaning ,cooking and washing dishes. i was even hoping brianna will get pregnant so that no matter what happens to their relationship, like if the boy strays away and dumps brianna, of course the parents will always take care of their grandchild and so indirectly brianna will also be taken cared off.
one day brianna visited me and slept in my room. after 2 nights i was starting to get worried and raven was constantly texting and calling me asking about brianna. then brianna told me she does not want to go back to raven. i kept asking the reason but she will never tell me. so i drove her to raven's house so they could talk. oh my god. raven was crying in front of me because he wanted brianna back. i kept persuading brianna to go back to him. the confusing part for me was that raven had no fault and she simply told me she just don't want to be with him anymore. i had to use all my psychiatry antiques to convince her to go back to raven. i told her to give it at least 3 more months maybe she will get used to it. me and raven even convinced her for 2 hours just to sleep 1 night at raven's house but she would not budge. i was so disheartened.
lately brianna met a cute 16 year old college girl named shayne (shayne gabrielle tiu in facebook). she comes from a rich family, she's smart and goes to a good private college. this is the first time i knew brianna was also into girls and holy cow the 2 love birds are so madly in love. shayne will even bring me pancakes and coffee when she visits brianna in the morning. it's amusing to see them french kiss in front of me but then it's sad for me to realize brianna will never have property rights because there is no gay marriage in the philippines. the danger is that if their relationship goes on long enough where brianna has lost her beauty and the relationship falls apart, it will be difficult for brianna to find someone else who can take care for her. by that time i'm probably too old to take care of her too.
i also try to desensitize them from their grim and gloomy drug den past by engaging in wholesome family activities such as snorkling, golf, bowling, swimming, etc ... next thing i know they are like my family. they even skipped school just to care for me when i was in the hospital. for those who's parents are in jail i try to reconnect/reconcile them through visitations.
when their dad gets out of jail and whacks them with a frying pan on the forehead, i go to youtube and get my 5 minute medical degree. if you report her dad to the cops she will kill you because she still loves her dad to death. my foster kids were showing me a viral video of a dad beating up his child. they were commenting that they felt sorry for the kid. i told them that chances are, they should also feel sorry for the dad because the reason why he is beating up his kid is because he also got beaten up by his dad when he was a kid. according to dr. drew and adam corolla, it's the gift that keeps on giving..
i continue to help them even when they are serving jail time. this 15 year old girl named skyler was with me for 3 years. one time her dad came to my house looking for her. she hid in the closet. when i heard her dad was a reformed person and her dad offered her a job babysitting her 2 half sisters, i convinced skyler to go live with her dad. at first i thought everything was finally well with her until i heard the news she and her dad are in jail because her dad used her to deal meth. her dad is smart he knew that sky can't be jailed because she is a minor so she let her do the dealing for him. sky only served 4 months prison time.
actually it was suppose to be only 3 months. a month ago i was given the court order to transfer her to a home for minors. i was suppose to bring it to the prison authorities but she told me not to. she cried profusely because she already made friends in jail and did not want to leave them.
she was treated like a princess in jail. all the male prisoners became her minions so she liked it there. which is actually bad news because that means she won't be afraid to do the same crime again. i inspected the facility for minors and found out it was like paradise - it was near the sea so it was windy and cool. the facility was so nice. i told sky about it but she would not budge. luckily in the last hearing (sept 11), the judge learned she was still in jail and gave an order to transfer her. she's been there for 10 days and she is happy there.
i'm looking at google maps to figure out if i should take the marcelo fernan (chief justice of the supreme court and senate president) bridge when i go buy parts for the guitar i'm fixing when a message from marcelo fernan's neice (the daughter of his brother) appears on my screen asking if i can accompany her to the detention center where skyler (her girlfriend) is detained because they won't let her in unless i accompany her. that's means senator/justice marcelo fernan was not corrupt because his brother is just a machinist in japan right now. who says philippines is a 3rd world country?
they are not allowed any cellphones or gadgets so i am using the opportunity to try to develop a love for reading. i'm starting her with sponge bob and nancy drew comic books. whenever she is done reading one book i ask her to narrate to me what is in the book. i also let her eat kimchi and grapes everyday hoping it will improve her microbiome and help her depression. especially that one of her dear friends who used to visit our house just committed suicide - https://www.facebook.com/milesfarrales21
usually the reason why they don't feel attending school or studying is poor health. school can be enjoyable if they have energy and feel healthy. that is why i rehab their health by educating them about nutrition. i also motivate them by telling them nutrition is very important to retain their youth and beauty. next thing you know they are the ones cooking super foods such as buwad bulinaw and quaker oats. i also tell them to eat banana and pineapple everyday so that their crush or boyfriends/lesbian girlfriends will be attracted to their body odor and breath. in the future i plan to start a PORN organization for impoverished kids in the slums who do no have access to recreation and good nutrition. it would be a joy for me to see these kids in PORN (Parents Offering Recreation and Nutrition).
not to mention the usual parenting duties like tutor them, fix their hair, guitar or piano lessons, do their makeup, drive them to prom, delouse them, teach them how to ride a bike, drive a car, take them to the movies and arcade, and of course take them to the doctor/dentist. in other words, my golf game is now non existent and my bed is infested with lice so they also have to delouse me.
and, when they get married and have kids, i also become a godparent to their kids:
another example of baranggay style law and order is there was this 15 year old girl named divina illustrisimo who has no father and her mom was jailed for drug offenses. as usual she hopped from relative to relative always getting kicked out for curfew violations until eventually she had nowhere else to go. she lived and worked at a cupcake shop in talamban. she wanted to quit work and go back to school so when she heard about me through her cousin who was one of my foster kid she asked me to pick her up. note that it is against child labor laws to employ a minor but the cupcake shop owner gets angry at me and takes us to the baranggay. which is ridiculous because instead of fearing the baranggay for unlawfully employing a minor she goes to the baranggay to have me arrested instead. after a brief shouting match in the baranggay i got fed up and just told divina that the solution to her problem is very simple - she simply has to be lazy in her job - eat, sleep but not work. i bet you her boss will fire her in no hurry. but then i learned something new about human behavior that really shocked me. i thought i have seen everything. divina refused to not work. she continued to work her ass off 12 hours a day. i asked her why? she told me the stare of her boss scares her so she continued to work hard. she did not have the strength to disobey her boss. it took her a month to finally get the courage to leave on her own. so divina lived with me, she was very excited to go back to school. she was so happy when i was enrolling her and we were buying her uniform and school supplies. but one day her aunt comes to our house very angry and threatens to have me arrested for illegally housing a minor. so i had to let divina go and now she quit school and lives in the slums shacking up with drug users. i really admire her aunt. i really admire people who thinks it's very important to always follow the law.
lately someone told me divina's boyfriend is HIV positive. her boyfriend got infected in jail when he was confined for drug offenses. so i convinced her to get tested. i told her not to worry because the boyfriend was already taking her meds so there is a chance his HIV is already undetectable during the time they were having sex so it's possible she did not get infected.
thank god the test was negative:
the baranggay is very pragmatic. there is this very beautiful girl named april mina who idolizes me and visits me and sleeps in our house sometimes. april comes from a well off and wholesome family. she is 16 years old and the mabolo baranggay recently just jailed her 18 year old boyfriend simply for dating her because there is no good reason for him to be with her. she does not need any help because she has a good family to go home to. in contrast, there was also this beautiful 11 year old girl named jopay living along v- rama avenue just across speed laundry and wheeltek motorbike shop. she had a 35 year old construction worker boyfriend. when she left her boyfriend the boyfriend went after her to her barrio and got violent. the barrio folks just felt sorry for the 35 year old boyfriend and were disappointed at jopay. i know that sounds ridiculous. why didn't the barrangay tanods arrest the 35 year old boyfriend? jopay has this behavioral disorder. nobody in their right mind would welcome her to their home. no social worker would go near her. before duterte, she was already doing shabu (meth). she would ride a taxi and offer sex to the taxi driver in exchange for P300 which she used to buy drugs. duterte is elected and jopay's drug dealer, dad, and grandmother was caught in the drag net and sent to jail. also jopay had no more access to drugs. luckily she met the 35 year old construction worker who miraculously was very in love with her. i don't believe in god but at that time i thought maybe there is a god who sent an angel in the form of the construction worker to jopay to save her. just like a dog lover who sees stray dogs suffer and all they can do is watch because of limited resources, it was also depressing for me to see the plight of jopay and not help her. i don't know where jopay is now. their entire barrio just got demolished. she did not have a facebook account. last time i saw her before their barrio was demolished, i think 3 guys were taking turns having sex with her. i was waiting for my scholar when i noticed 2 dangerous looking gangsters drinking outside a house that was shaking. then the shaking would stop and a guy would come out to join the 2 guys drinking. then one of the guys would go in the house and later on the house would shake again. i found it strange but then just as i left i saw jopay come out of the house. i'm not sure what that was.
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more foster care horror stories -
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/03/easter-sunday-message.html,
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/05/nba-gangsters-and-scholars.html
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/10/farewell-lablab.html
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/09/american-dad-without-roger-alien.html
one of the root causes -
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2017/04/rare-perspectives-on-extra-judicial-killings.html
evaluating a child's risk level:
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/11/bohemian-pedigree-knowledge-bomb-on.html
foster care tips (meal plans, budgeting, organizing) -
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/06/pbb-gemsville-bible.html
marijuana should be legalized to control the shabu epidemic. marjiuana does not impede your ability to function, it just lessens it (just like alcohol). so if you were born with an aptitude to become a neuro surgeon and you are a marijuana user, you won't become a neuro surgeon but you can still become a successful doctor. many doctors and lawyers use marijuana. top nba idols like steve nash, jr smith, chris webber and klay thompson smoke marijuana.
shabu on the other hand will just ruin your life and those around you. that's because shabu permanently destroys brain cells. marijuana will also destroy brain cells but just like alcohol, the brain cells will heal. some people are predisposed to be drug users. it's how they are born and it's nobody's fault. it's just luck of the draw. nobody has ever been cured of a mental or emotional disease in the history of mankind. 1/6 of people have a certain form of mental or emotional illness. for these unlucky people who are predisposed to drug use, they are better off using marijuana than shabu.
of course some people could ruin their lives because of marijuana addiction. but so does alcohol. why isn't alcohol illegal? same with pain killers. a lot of legally available pain killers are way more addictive and dangerous than marijuana. why are they legal? the answer is you need a corporation to make pain killers while anyone can plant marijuana. the giant pharmaceuticals and biotech companies are lobbying congress so that marijuana will not be legalized and they can continue to make money. on cities where marijuana is legal, there has been a 25% reduction in opioid use - opioid addiction can lead to crime and even death.
the smartest cities in the world like amsterdam, seattle, denver, etc ... legalized marijuana. they can build rocket ships that go to the ends of our solar system. we can't even build our own car and we think we are smarter than them to not legalize marijuana?
duterte hates drugs. but duterte is open to legalizing medical marijuana. a marijuana export industry can be good for the philippine economy. we can easily compete in the world markets because we have cheap labor. we can use the revenue to build more and better rehab centers for shabu addicts.
i saw in the news a viral video of that ateneo taekwondo kid who beat up another kid. while everyone is wishing bullying will stop i'm wishing the gruesome human butchery videos taken from the deep web and circulated among the dark underworld of slumdog kids via fb messenger will stop. my scholar showed me a dude stabbing the face of 2 young girls multiple times and also the genitals of an infant being slashed with a blade as the infant is crying. back to the viral video of the taekwondo kid, it reminds me of my scholar trixie. such a sweet looking 12 year old kid it's hard to believe she is such a warrior just looking at her angelic beauty. another of my scholar warned me trixie's best friend is waiting outside our house because they agreed to a fight. i know her best friend is twice her size so i advised her not to fight but she said she's never lost a fight before and goes out anyway. it's amazing to see a very cute girl prepping for a fight taking off her earings, bracelet, and braces. i love my scholars so i felt a very nervous feeling in my stomach. i begged her not to go out but she still went out. i can't bare to watch it so i told my other scholars to referee or make sure nothing dangerous happens. a few minutes later, one of my scholars came running to me saying trixie passed out. they said her opponent was actually losing when she got hold of trixie and slammed her head on the asphalt road. i never felt so scared in my life. i was 100% sure it was internal hemorrhage and trixie will die. good thing she woke up and the x-rays in the hospital showed she was ok. trixie is a very experienced fighter because whenever she meets new friends, the guys would hook up with her because she is attractive so the girlfriends will get jealous and try to beat her up. so she tries to meet new friends but the cycle repeats itself. it also happens to her sister kate. one time they were at a disco and another girl attacked them with a knife and when the girl tried to stab her sister, they are like ninjas so her sister deflects the arm of the attacker so instead the friend of the attacker was the one who got stabbed. it's like a freakin' movie scene so i didn't believe the story at first but everyone says it's true even people from other barrios know this story. i think they learned fighting skills from their step dad because weeks later their mom was hospitalized after being battered by their step dad. first i thanked the lord in the heavens that it's not their biological dad therefore it would be much easier for me to solve. i told their step dad to leave and told him what i will do to him if i ever see him again. he fled to a different province and never came back. that was a year ago and miraculously my scholar and all her sisters went back to her mom and they are once again one big happy family. the kids are even doing very well in school. yesterday was her sister's birthday and they asked me to visit but when i arrived their neighborhood was flooded because the barangay did not implement my classmate's term paper recommendations back in high school. so i just texted them to go to my condo when the flood subsides so they can go swimming. when they arrived my heart just melted they are like super cute dogs i was hugging and kissing them (including the mom because they all look the same age). their only problem now is their brother who took refuge with their distant aunt in mandaue city can't come home because their aunt won't give him back. the aunt won't answer their phone calls and won't even answer the door when they knock. their mom cried while talking to me about this so i talked to the boy to make sure he is happy in mandaue and the boy says he prefers to live in mandaue. i'm like thank god because in case their situation turns south again i can't take in boys because people might think i'm a pedophile. turns out their brother does not want to go home because he is afraid to go to their nearby school because one of the teachers punished him by pushing him down the stairs.
i notice the root of the problem why their rich relatives don't want to have anything to do with them is it's normal for upstanding and successful people to be "control freaks". there has to be "structure". it comes with the territory of success and high quality of life. this emotion or instinct is so strong such that it can overwhelm their instinct to care for their niece or grand daughter. so they end up doing something very contradictory - they get angry at their niece for coming home 3 am in the morning because they care for their niece and don't want anything bad to happen to her so they kick her out of the house and so their beautiful 13 year old niece ends up shacking up with a drug dealer. simply ridiculous. it's like "i don't want you to have a wound on your hand so let me cut your arm so you will never have a wounded hand".
there has to be a middle ground for these traumatized kids. that is why i'm very impressed with the philippine government's pragmatic educational system that offers night school for kids belonging to this narrow area of spectrum. the school always lets them pass even if the kid is absent for 1 month. it's even the teacher's job to actually go to the slums and look for their student who hasn't attended school for quite a while. the night school faculty's mission is to be more of a babysitter and less of an educator. i remember the principal hitching a ride with us and my foster kids complaining to her that one of their male teachers keeps touching them and the principal said "ay sus pasagdi na inyo maestro kay badlungung kaayo na" (don't mind your teacher he is very had headed). note this is night school. day school is a totally different world where if you touch a student you get fired or go to jail. the day public schools in the philippines are great.
the philippine government even goes further than night school. there is this program called ALS (alternative learning system) where a kid only has to go to school twice a week. incredible !!! some of my more traumatized foster kids actually go to ALS. it's better than nothing.
so the middle ground between living with a rich aunt and shacking up with a drug dealer is a quazi foster parent like me - single, successful, caring but creepy. why creepy? because the reason why i enjoy taking care of these teenage girls is i find them adorable or attractive. the ugly truth is that there are too few heroes who would give up their time, money and energy to help these kids out of sheer charity. there are also legal risks involved. the other night i had to pick up my foster kids from curfew jail in sambag II baranggay hall and the officials told me if the kids get arrested 1 more time for violating the curfew i will be the one arrested and will have to do community service like sweep the streets. a better solution of course is a foster care system similar to the one in america where foster parents are vetted and paid but philippines can't afford that.
there are actually a lot of people like me who really do help and mentor these teenagers with nowhere to go because they feel heaven when they are around these kids. if you live in the mainstream bubble where your only exposure to this underworld sub culture is in the movies and tv shows where for sure in the movie the old dude ends up raping or molesting the child (because if not then it won't be an interesting movie), then of course you will be horrified with this blog article. of course the danger of abuse is there and of course it does happen but it's like riding an airplane. if you just look at all the plane crashes that has happened in history you will be too afraid to ride a plane. imagine what our lives will be if no one rides an airplane. similarly, these kids will be much worse if not mentored in a micro or personal level. a government institution/system or private charity/foundation won't be of much help for these traumatized kids. real world is never perfect. it's always a gray area, a middle ground, or compromise. trying to be perfect usually just worsens the problems. example, capitalism is cruel and greedy, so a brilliant and good hearted karl marx tried to perfect society by inventing communism and it just resulted in billions of people suffering. we have to pick the lesser evil.
you've probably heard of the saying "all men are pigs" (or "most men are pigs" to be more precise). the "pigs" see me with my very beautiful foster kids and tell me they are envious and they call me their "idol". on the other hand the karl marxes or the rare few good men and women who are not "pigs" consider me a pedophile who should go to jail.
it is illegal for a minor to live with an adult who is not a relative. there are some cases where it's best for the child to be admitted to a government institution (dswd) and i always explore or try this as the first option, but if i even mention the word dswd to the child they will attempt to commit suicide. they tell me they've heard horror stories that they don't have freedom and the food is horrible. they would rather shack up with a drug dealer.
that is why i'm also impressed by this feature of the philippine government structure called the "baranggay" that serves as a pragmatic "cushion" to the federal law. the baranggay is given the power to enforce and circumvent certain laws (not all laws of course) using a case by case basis. it's more efficient because the baranggay is a more personal level that gives them more intimate knowledge of each case so there is less need for standard procedures or protocols that will only bankrupt the country if all cases have to go through these protocols. example when i brought my foster kid jovelyn capuno to barrio luz baranggay hall in cebu city, they already knew me and her situation so they immediately signed the authorization for jovelyn to live with me. now 3 years later jovelyn is successful working as a call center agent.
one of my foster kids, mj, want to be a flight attendant. i told her don't ever quit your job at mcdonalds if you want to work as a flight attendant because a hiring manager would rather choose a stunning beauty like you who worked in mcdonalds for 5 straight years without quitting than someone with a better education but no history or record of work ethic or perseverance (i hope that's true because i just made that up :-)
education is easy, education can be fun but it's hard to teach work ethic because i think it's more of an inborn personality. but that does not stop me from trying. i brainwash my pets to think hard work is cooler than being a famous actress or singer (using trumpish out of the box tactics). my scholars used to be very lazy and soft and just wants to party and get easy money. i tell them materialism is just temporary, fake and empty happiness and once you get devirginized with the taste of your first hard earned pay check, you will feel true joy, pride and dignity. at first they won’t believe me. i have to start world war 3 to convince them but when they do lose their virginity they tell me it’s an amazing feeling they can’t explain. one time the barkada of augusto go, the owner the university mj goes to, jogs every morning and stops by mcdonalds in escario for coffee where mj works and they became good friends (wink wink). one day mj told my other foster kids that they should believe my annoying sermons because the old dudes, which she idolizes, tell her the same things i say in my sermons. hehehe
i force them to do practice a drill – whenever there is a celebrity in the mall, while everyone is running towards the celebrity to get their autograph, they would instead have to get an autograph and selfie with a security guard, a janitor or a salesperson in the mall. i tell them marian rivera is nothing compared to the security guards, jeepney drivers, etc … who toil blood and sweat all their life to raise kids and send them to school. marian rivera is just lucky she was born with beauty and talent.
i used to drive 3 hours to the mountains every weekend to snowboard and it was soooooo tiring and painful even if it was a freeway auto cruise with aircon/heater. imagine a jeepney driver who has to endure heat, pollution, manual shifting, stop and go every corner, no power steering, and give change to passengers. they do this for 12 hours a day. not for 1 day a week, but everyday. not for a month or a year but all their life until they die an early death from all the stress, poor nutrition and pollution. they are the unsung heroes of our society, considering public transpo is the backbone of our economy. so while most of you would scream and shout like crybabies when a jeepney stops in the middle of the road to load/unload a passenger, i salute and feel honored because i know their muscles are already sore and their body is drained to have to pull over to the side of the road just to load/unload a passenger.
i used to tell them about the ballerina from tondo, jessa balote, to inspire them. but then i realized jessa is a bad example because she just happens to be gifted and talented. of course she also worked hard and persevered but i don't like my scholars to get the wrong idea that being famous or doing what you love for a living is the definition of success. they might take the example too literally instead of just making it an example of hardwork and perseverance. because what happens if they can't be a professional singer, dancer or actress? they might lose their self esteem and relapse back to drug use as a coping mechanism.
there is a difference between a person working in mcdonalds and a person "biologically immersed" in mcdonalds. mcdonalds is just a symbolic term to mean fast food like jollibee, dimsum express, etc .. "working in mcdonalds" could mean you hate the job and you are always tired. but "biologically immersed" is like me with golf - it's physically exhausting but i enjoy it and i can't live without it. once they are biologically immersed at mcdonalds, they are economically secure for the rest of their life. they can afford to live in a decent boarding house (P1,500 a month), never go hungry, buy the trendiest clothes (P50 - P300 knock off brands in the night market of tausog and maranao muslims), even travel to the best beaches in the world - bantayan and moal-boal (P300 aircon bus fare), etc ...
contrast this to their next option - working as a bar girl which usually leads to drugs and prostitution because of the desolate environment. it starts with working in a hot and humid eatery for 12 hours - there are no part time jobs in these eateries and the heat and humidity eventually wears them down because of their mixed blood european genes not adopted to this environment (unlike the native genes who is more adopted to heat and humidity), some work in the malls as salesladies which is aircon but there is no stimulation and it's 8 hours (no part time) which eventually leads to severe boredom and burn out. so they end up in a bar or being a mistress to rich dirty old men where they are just disposed off like trash when they age and lose their beauty. then they go down the food chain to old foreigners or tourists who will still find them attractive.
i always stress and emphasize to my foster kids to work only 4 hours or part time. it prevents burn out. burn out causes los of motivation or desire to work. worse, it could cause permanent animosity towards work. i even scold them if they work 8 hours. burn out is very deceptive. you may feel fine in the beginning and it's something you won't notice. the trick is to leave work feeling like you still want to work some more. this keeps you wanting to go back the next day. it's funny because i treat working 8 hours like drug abuse. one of my scholars started working 8 hours in mcdonalds instead of only 4 hours because she wanted to buy an iphone. luckily her friend tattled on her so i scolded her and scared her that if she continues to work 8 hours she will one day end up working in a bar snorting meth and being fucked by a different foreigner every night. she went back to working 4 hours. it's always a case by case basis. for normal people, working 8 hours is perfect. but these kids experienced childhood trauma and they have weaker genes so i have to prescribe a much lower daily dosage of the self esteem pill. note this is something i just pulled out of my ass. i'm not an expert on anything or i'm just a quack intellectual.
people will always eat. we are a long ways from humans inventing a pill to substitute for food or we only have to eat like once a week. 50 years from now fast food will still be important. it does not matter what economic or political system - dictatorship, capitalist, communist - there will always be a job in fast food.
please support my part time law advocacy. here's how you can help - https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2020/03/part-time-opportunity-law.html
what about the need to have a job that uses creativity? the great thing about humans that super intellectual ignore (at their own peril) is that normal human beings (except those with mental/emotional defects) are all equal only in terms of content and happiness. of course there is so much inequality in terms of wealth and living standards, but that is really caused by inequality of inborn abilities or competence. what's great about it is that i noticed that if a person has lower incompetence, they also have lower standards when it comes to quality of life. so a person can still be content and happy as long as their standards and competency match or are compatible (https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2019/06/inborn-aptitudes-and-standards.html). fortunately, less competent people have less need for creativity and less desire to participate in controlling the means of production (it's so insignificant that most people including me have no idea what that means).
the problem is it's a very narrow segment of the spectrum and you need many years of experience and knowledge of the lower pedigrees of society to get a feel or ability to identify which juvenile teenager has a chance to be "biologically immersed in mcdonalds". some are just hopeless, others it's beneath them - they have the potential to be call center agents or even public school teachers. the good news is there is no harm in trying for a higher goal even if they end up settling for a lower goal. the only harm is it will waste my time, money and energy, but i never really regret it. it's always worth the try. i just enjoy the journey and not worry about the destination. example the other day i laughed so hard when one of them asked me for help on her project and told me to just "cut and paste in MICROSCOPE word". it's really like having pets where you get amused at their nuances.
next step down? having a child with a boyfriend from a good family. the next area in the spectrum that these kids belong to are those that are too traumatized to develop work ethic or attend school. i coach them by telling them that the best quality they should find in a boyfriend is one who belongs to a good decent family that is economically stable. i constantly scare them that this is their last survival card and they will be sleeping in the sidewalk when they are 40 years old and lost their beauty if they refuse to make an effort. even if the boyfriend goes astray and the relationship does not work out, as long as they maintain a good relationship with the parents, they will always be taken cared of, at least have something to eat and a roof above their head. that is why i coach them to make an effort to make themselves indispensable to the family. make them worry that you might not be around anymore to do the groceries, cook or do laundry. kiss up to the parents. even if the parents still won't like them, any decent human being will never allow their grand child to suffer and it's logical that a child will also suffer if they know their mother suffering so the grandparents of the child will have no choice but to at least give them a decent place to stay and something to eat. this is actually a common situation. when the child is old enough, chances are the child inherited the strong genes of the boyfriend's family so there is a good chance the child will now be able to take care of them.
brianna is a good kid but too traumatized so i can never get her to go to school or mold her to have work ethics. at first i thought no problem because she is good looking i'm sure a nice hardworking guy will one day fall in love with her and have kids with her. but after 3 years with me (she is now 17) i noticed she can't maintain a relationship. again i was hoping it's because she is just a kid. just this year she had a boyfriend named raven who comes from a decent, economically well off and wholesome family and is doing well in college. i notice the relationship was going very well and the family of raven offered brianna to live with them knowing her situation. i was soooooo happy for her especially the parents were good decent people.
i started to coach brianna to try to impress raven's parents by helping out around the house like cleaning ,cooking and washing dishes. i was even hoping brianna will get pregnant so that no matter what happens to their relationship, like if the boy strays away and dumps brianna, of course the parents will always take care of their grandchild and so indirectly brianna will also be taken cared off.
one day brianna visited me and slept in my room. after 2 nights i was starting to get worried and raven was constantly texting and calling me asking about brianna. then brianna told me she does not want to go back to raven. i kept asking the reason but she will never tell me. so i drove her to raven's house so they could talk. oh my god. raven was crying in front of me because he wanted brianna back. i kept persuading brianna to go back to him. the confusing part for me was that raven had no fault and she simply told me she just don't want to be with him anymore. i had to use all my psychiatry antiques to convince her to go back to raven. i told her to give it at least 3 more months maybe she will get used to it. me and raven even convinced her for 2 hours just to sleep 1 night at raven's house but she would not budge. i was so disheartened.
lately brianna met a cute 16 year old college girl named shayne (shayne gabrielle tiu in facebook). she comes from a rich family, she's smart and goes to a good private college. this is the first time i knew brianna was also into girls and holy cow the 2 love birds are so madly in love. shayne will even bring me pancakes and coffee when she visits brianna in the morning. it's amusing to see them french kiss in front of me but then it's sad for me to realize brianna will never have property rights because there is no gay marriage in the philippines. the danger is that if their relationship goes on long enough where brianna has lost her beauty and the relationship falls apart, it will be difficult for brianna to find someone else who can take care for her. by that time i'm probably too old to take care of her too.
i also try to desensitize them from their grim and gloomy drug den past by engaging in wholesome family activities such as snorkling, golf, bowling, swimming, etc ... next thing i know they are like my family. they even skipped school just to care for me when i was in the hospital. for those who's parents are in jail i try to reconnect/reconcile them through visitations.
when their dad gets out of jail and whacks them with a frying pan on the forehead, i go to youtube and get my 5 minute medical degree. if you report her dad to the cops she will kill you because she still loves her dad to death. my foster kids were showing me a viral video of a dad beating up his child. they were commenting that they felt sorry for the kid. i told them that chances are, they should also feel sorry for the dad because the reason why he is beating up his kid is because he also got beaten up by his dad when he was a kid. according to dr. drew and adam corolla, it's the gift that keeps on giving..
i continue to help them even when they are serving jail time. this 15 year old girl named skyler was with me for 3 years. one time her dad came to my house looking for her. she hid in the closet. when i heard her dad was a reformed person and her dad offered her a job babysitting her 2 half sisters, i convinced skyler to go live with her dad. at first i thought everything was finally well with her until i heard the news she and her dad are in jail because her dad used her to deal meth. her dad is smart he knew that sky can't be jailed because she is a minor so she let her do the dealing for him. sky only served 4 months prison time.
actually it was suppose to be only 3 months. a month ago i was given the court order to transfer her to a home for minors. i was suppose to bring it to the prison authorities but she told me not to. she cried profusely because she already made friends in jail and did not want to leave them.
she was treated like a princess in jail. all the male prisoners became her minions so she liked it there. which is actually bad news because that means she won't be afraid to do the same crime again. i inspected the facility for minors and found out it was like paradise - it was near the sea so it was windy and cool. the facility was so nice. i told sky about it but she would not budge. luckily in the last hearing (sept 11), the judge learned she was still in jail and gave an order to transfer her. she's been there for 10 days and she is happy there.
i'm looking at google maps to figure out if i should take the marcelo fernan (chief justice of the supreme court and senate president) bridge when i go buy parts for the guitar i'm fixing when a message from marcelo fernan's neice (the daughter of his brother) appears on my screen asking if i can accompany her to the detention center where skyler (her girlfriend) is detained because they won't let her in unless i accompany her. that's means senator/justice marcelo fernan was not corrupt because his brother is just a machinist in japan right now. who says philippines is a 3rd world country?
they are not allowed any cellphones or gadgets so i am using the opportunity to try to develop a love for reading. i'm starting her with sponge bob and nancy drew comic books. whenever she is done reading one book i ask her to narrate to me what is in the book. i also let her eat kimchi and grapes everyday hoping it will improve her microbiome and help her depression. especially that one of her dear friends who used to visit our house just committed suicide - https://www.facebook.com/milesfarrales21
usually the reason why they don't feel attending school or studying is poor health. school can be enjoyable if they have energy and feel healthy. that is why i rehab their health by educating them about nutrition. i also motivate them by telling them nutrition is very important to retain their youth and beauty. next thing you know they are the ones cooking super foods such as buwad bulinaw and quaker oats. i also tell them to eat banana and pineapple everyday so that their crush or boyfriends/lesbian girlfriends will be attracted to their body odor and breath. in the future i plan to start a PORN organization for impoverished kids in the slums who do no have access to recreation and good nutrition. it would be a joy for me to see these kids in PORN (Parents Offering Recreation and Nutrition).
not to mention the usual parenting duties like tutor them, fix their hair, guitar or piano lessons, do their makeup, drive them to prom, delouse them, teach them how to ride a bike, drive a car, take them to the movies and arcade, and of course take them to the doctor/dentist. in other words, my golf game is now non existent and my bed is infested with lice so they also have to delouse me.
and, when they get married and have kids, i also become a godparent to their kids:
another example of baranggay style law and order is there was this 15 year old girl named divina illustrisimo who has no father and her mom was jailed for drug offenses. as usual she hopped from relative to relative always getting kicked out for curfew violations until eventually she had nowhere else to go. she lived and worked at a cupcake shop in talamban. she wanted to quit work and go back to school so when she heard about me through her cousin who was one of my foster kid she asked me to pick her up. note that it is against child labor laws to employ a minor but the cupcake shop owner gets angry at me and takes us to the baranggay. which is ridiculous because instead of fearing the baranggay for unlawfully employing a minor she goes to the baranggay to have me arrested instead. after a brief shouting match in the baranggay i got fed up and just told divina that the solution to her problem is very simple - she simply has to be lazy in her job - eat, sleep but not work. i bet you her boss will fire her in no hurry. but then i learned something new about human behavior that really shocked me. i thought i have seen everything. divina refused to not work. she continued to work her ass off 12 hours a day. i asked her why? she told me the stare of her boss scares her so she continued to work hard. she did not have the strength to disobey her boss. it took her a month to finally get the courage to leave on her own. so divina lived with me, she was very excited to go back to school. she was so happy when i was enrolling her and we were buying her uniform and school supplies. but one day her aunt comes to our house very angry and threatens to have me arrested for illegally housing a minor. so i had to let divina go and now she quit school and lives in the slums shacking up with drug users. i really admire her aunt. i really admire people who thinks it's very important to always follow the law.
lately someone told me divina's boyfriend is HIV positive. her boyfriend got infected in jail when he was confined for drug offenses. so i convinced her to get tested. i told her not to worry because the boyfriend was already taking her meds so there is a chance his HIV is already undetectable during the time they were having sex so it's possible she did not get infected.
thank god the test was negative:
the baranggay is very pragmatic. there is this very beautiful girl named april mina who idolizes me and visits me and sleeps in our house sometimes. april comes from a well off and wholesome family. she is 16 years old and the mabolo baranggay recently just jailed her 18 year old boyfriend simply for dating her because there is no good reason for him to be with her. she does not need any help because she has a good family to go home to. in contrast, there was also this beautiful 11 year old girl named jopay living along v- rama avenue just across speed laundry and wheeltek motorbike shop. she had a 35 year old construction worker boyfriend. when she left her boyfriend the boyfriend went after her to her barrio and got violent. the barrio folks just felt sorry for the 35 year old boyfriend and were disappointed at jopay. i know that sounds ridiculous. why didn't the barrangay tanods arrest the 35 year old boyfriend? jopay has this behavioral disorder. nobody in their right mind would welcome her to their home. no social worker would go near her. before duterte, she was already doing shabu (meth). she would ride a taxi and offer sex to the taxi driver in exchange for P300 which she used to buy drugs. duterte is elected and jopay's drug dealer, dad, and grandmother was caught in the drag net and sent to jail. also jopay had no more access to drugs. luckily she met the 35 year old construction worker who miraculously was very in love with her. i don't believe in god but at that time i thought maybe there is a god who sent an angel in the form of the construction worker to jopay to save her. just like a dog lover who sees stray dogs suffer and all they can do is watch because of limited resources, it was also depressing for me to see the plight of jopay and not help her. i don't know where jopay is now. their entire barrio just got demolished. she did not have a facebook account. last time i saw her before their barrio was demolished, i think 3 guys were taking turns having sex with her. i was waiting for my scholar when i noticed 2 dangerous looking gangsters drinking outside a house that was shaking. then the shaking would stop and a guy would come out to join the 2 guys drinking. then one of the guys would go in the house and later on the house would shake again. i found it strange but then just as i left i saw jopay come out of the house. i'm not sure what that was.
---------------------------------
more foster care horror stories -
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/03/easter-sunday-message.html,
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/05/nba-gangsters-and-scholars.html
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/10/farewell-lablab.html
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/09/american-dad-without-roger-alien.html
one of the root causes -
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2017/04/rare-perspectives-on-extra-judicial-killings.html
evaluating a child's risk level:
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/11/bohemian-pedigree-knowledge-bomb-on.html
https://ian-crystal.blogspot.com/2018/06/pbb-gemsville-bible.html
------------marijuana speech----------------------
marijuana should be legalized to control the shabu epidemic. marjiuana does not impede your ability to function, it just lessens it (just like alcohol). so if you were born with an aptitude to become a neuro surgeon and you are a marijuana user, you won't become a neuro surgeon but you can still become a successful doctor. many doctors and lawyers use marijuana. top nba idols like steve nash, jr smith, chris webber and klay thompson smoke marijuana.
shabu on the other hand will just ruin your life and those around you. that's because shabu permanently destroys brain cells. marijuana will also destroy brain cells but just like alcohol, the brain cells will heal. some people are predisposed to be drug users. it's how they are born and it's nobody's fault. it's just luck of the draw. nobody has ever been cured of a mental or emotional disease in the history of mankind. 1/6 of people have a certain form of mental or emotional illness. for these unlucky people who are predisposed to drug use, they are better off using marijuana than shabu.
of course some people could ruin their lives because of marijuana addiction. but so does alcohol. why isn't alcohol illegal? same with pain killers. a lot of legally available pain killers are way more addictive and dangerous than marijuana. why are they legal? the answer is you need a corporation to make pain killers while anyone can plant marijuana. the giant pharmaceuticals and biotech companies are lobbying congress so that marijuana will not be legalized and they can continue to make money. on cities where marijuana is legal, there has been a 25% reduction in opioid use - opioid addiction can lead to crime and even death.
the smartest cities in the world like amsterdam, seattle, denver, etc ... legalized marijuana. they can build rocket ships that go to the ends of our solar system. we can't even build our own car and we think we are smarter than them to not legalize marijuana?
duterte hates drugs. but duterte is open to legalizing medical marijuana. a marijuana export industry can be good for the philippine economy. we can easily compete in the world markets because we have cheap labor. we can use the revenue to build more and better rehab centers for shabu addicts.
-------end of speech marijuana speech -----------------
12/21/18 fb post:
i saw in the news a viral video of that ateneo taekwondo kid who beat up another kid. while everyone is wishing bullying will stop i'm wishing the gruesome human butchery videos taken from the deep web and circulated among the dark underworld of slumdog kids via fb messenger will stop. my scholar showed me a dude stabbing the face of 2 young girls multiple times and also the genitals of an infant being slashed with a blade as the infant is crying. back to the viral video of the taekwondo kid, it reminds me of my scholar trixie. such a sweet looking 12 year old kid it's hard to believe she is such a warrior just looking at her angelic beauty. another of my scholar warned me trixie's best friend is waiting outside our house because they agreed to a fight. i know her best friend is twice her size so i advised her not to fight but she said she's never lost a fight before and goes out anyway. it's amazing to see a very cute girl prepping for a fight taking off her earings, bracelet, and braces. i love my scholars so i felt a very nervous feeling in my stomach. i begged her not to go out but she still went out. i can't bare to watch it so i told my other scholars to referee or make sure nothing dangerous happens. a few minutes later, one of my scholars came running to me saying trixie passed out. they said her opponent was actually losing when she got hold of trixie and slammed her head on the asphalt road. i never felt so scared in my life. i was 100% sure it was internal hemorrhage and trixie will die. good thing she woke up and the x-rays in the hospital showed she was ok. trixie is a very experienced fighter because whenever she meets new friends, the guys would hook up with her because she is attractive so the girlfriends will get jealous and try to beat her up. so she tries to meet new friends but the cycle repeats itself. it also happens to her sister kate. one time they were at a disco and another girl attacked them with a knife and when the girl tried to stab her sister, they are like ninjas so her sister deflects the arm of the attacker so instead the friend of the attacker was the one who got stabbed. it's like a freakin' movie scene so i didn't believe the story at first but everyone says it's true even people from other barrios know this story. i think they learned fighting skills from their step dad because weeks later their mom was hospitalized after being battered by their step dad. first i thanked the lord in the heavens that it's not their biological dad therefore it would be much easier for me to solve. i told their step dad to leave and told him what i will do to him if i ever see him again. he fled to a different province and never came back. that was a year ago and miraculously my scholar and all her sisters went back to her mom and they are once again one big happy family. the kids are even doing very well in school. yesterday was her sister's birthday and they asked me to visit but when i arrived their neighborhood was flooded because the barangay did not implement my classmate's term paper recommendations back in high school. so i just texted them to go to my condo when the flood subsides so they can go swimming. when they arrived my heart just melted they are like super cute dogs i was hugging and kissing them (including the mom because they all look the same age). their only problem now is their brother who took refuge with their distant aunt in mandaue city can't come home because their aunt won't give him back. the aunt won't answer their phone calls and won't even answer the door when they knock. their mom cried while talking to me about this so i talked to the boy to make sure he is happy in mandaue and the boy says he prefers to live in mandaue. i'm like thank god because in case their situation turns south again i can't take in boys because people might think i'm a pedophile. turns out their brother does not want to go home because he is afraid to go to their nearby school because one of the teachers punished him by pushing him down the stairs.
you don't have to worry about all these horrifying stories i just told you. it's still my will and part of my plan. you don't have free will, my facebook friends. you only have the appearance of free will. you don't deserve free will. after taking you from hunting and gathering to the height of the roman empire, i stepped back and gave you free will, to see how you do on your own. you gave me the dark ages for 5 centuries. and so finally i decided i should come back in. i thought that maybe i just needed to do a better job teaching you how to ride a bike before taking the training wheels off again. so i gave you the renaissance, enlightenment, scientific revolution. for 6 hundred years i taught you to control your impulses with reason. then in 1910 i gave you free will again. within 50 years you brought me world war 1, the depression, facism, the holocaust, and capped it off by bringing the entire planet to the brink of destruction in the cuban missile crisis. at that point i decided to step back in again before you do something that even i couldn't fix. you don't have free will, my facebook friends. you only have the appearance of free will
2/11/19 fb post:
my catriona gray was prom queen last year. this year best in gown. (although i feel bad that i was so busy that day i did not have time to monitor and respond to her messages and phone calls updating me of the status).
reminds me of a very amusing beauty contest of a tiny barrio. one night i was receiving a barrage of text and phone calls from my scholar who kept insisting i watch her compete in a beauty contest in their barrio. when i arrived i was shocked to find out the entire event was delayed because of me - she won't compete if i was not there and the event won't start without her. then i started to notice all the contestants were her close friends and neighbors who i always see hanging out during the day in that same event venue. then i noticed the crowd was just their family and neighbors who i always see hanging out during the day in that same event venue. so basically if you remove the stage and the dress the contestants in their normal daily wear, it would be like just another day. what astounded me was the powerfull cheers and jeers from the crowd as if it was a real beauty contest. it also amused me that the contestants acted so tense and nervous and the winner burst in joy and happiness when she was pronounced the winner and received the award. however, talent portion was pretty impressive they were all good dancers and singers. but what really made me laugh was my scholar's 8 year old brother was also one of the contestants. he also had make up and he wore the gown, high heels and bikini just like the other female contestants. his dance performance was just epic. the weirdest part of it all is that he is not even gay. times have really changed. when i was a kid nobody in his right mind would ever volunteer to do such a stunt.
3/15/19 fb post:
the 3 brothers that raped and skinned the face of a 16 year old (christine lee silawan) in lapu lapu should not be harmed yet. we should bring in experts from all over the world to study them to the fullest before they are punished. this is unprecedented in filipino society. there are many important questions that need to be answered. example, is this just an isolated incident or is it symptomatic of a much deeper and emerging problem in our rapidly changing society? (no politicizing please (i'm just fantasizing people actually read my posts and comment)).
if the perps smile and say "hello clarise" to a female expert, i would not allow my scholars to go out at night anymore. actually the victim was the neighbor of one of my scholars and her neighbors told her at first they though it was her because they have similar body and facial profile. very scary. my scholar who glows in the dark because of her very white skin sometimes walks alone in that area in the middle of the night.
i was a guest today at my high school classmate's nationally syndicated radio talk show. my guest appearance garnered very high ratings. i was praising the senators who condemned the brutality. i said we are very lucky to have senators who are brave and intelligent enough to know that skinning the face of a 16 year old girl is wrong. imagine how many rapists, murderers and psychos cancelled their plans to commit a crime after they heard the senators condemn such heinous acts.
a caller asked me what i would have done if i was a senator. maybe she was a strong supporter of one of the senators because she was angry at my sarcasm. i said anyone with a humane soul would immediately be worried for the victim's love ones and use every fiber of their being to try and console the family. one of the senators should at the very least visit the family. i know rapes and murders happen often and leaders can't visit the family of every crime victim but they have to realize this particular savagery is unprecedented in filipino society and happens only in movies. they should also hire some world renowned expert to make sure this is just an isolated incident and not symptomatic of a much deeper and emerging problem in our rapidly changing society.
3/18/19 fb post:
i feel like i just came from a lord of the rings adventure. i visited my babygirl's dad who lives on a pretty remote mountain barrio to find out if my babygirl was born in a hospital or at home. it was a grueling 30 minute walk up a dark, steep and narrow trail and i felt gollum will just appear out of nowhere. and now my babygirl is so bummed out because her dad just told her that her real name is mary jane and not erica. she thinks mary jane is an ugly name. it was quite amusing hearing them argue about her real name.
she just turned 17 so i'm trying to get her a student's permit driver's license. i've been training her on road safety and observing her motorcycle driving skills and she showed very good reflexes and quick judgement. one of the requirements is a birth certificate but she told me she was born in the slums of tondo manila and was never registered. sounds fishy to me because around 2002 there were already government hospitals so we visited the cousin of her biological mother who raised her before she ran away. her aunt said that erica was not born in a hospital but when i asked if she was physically present when erica was born she said no. i then asked if there is anyone i can talk to who was actually present and she mentioned erica's dad.
so we visited her dad who was very happy to see her. her dad attested that contrary to everyone's belief, erica was actually born in bonifacio hospital near tondo and her real name is mary jane. good thing i also had the presence of mind to ask the correct spelling of his name because what erica gave me was wrong. it would have been a nightmare getting her birth certificate with all those incorrect information.
her dad looks like he came from a wealthy pedigree so after we left i asked erica if he used to be rich and she said he used to own a 3 story apartment but lost it all due to his drug addiction. it was also weird to hear her dad ask her if her mom is still alive. erica once told me that her mom is hiding from the authorities and the last time she saw her was on her 6th birthday when her mom brought her ice cream in the middle of the night. she has never heard from her ever since.
2/11/19 fb post:
my catriona gray was prom queen last year. this year best in gown. (although i feel bad that i was so busy that day i did not have time to monitor and respond to her messages and phone calls updating me of the status).
reminds me of a very amusing beauty contest of a tiny barrio. one night i was receiving a barrage of text and phone calls from my scholar who kept insisting i watch her compete in a beauty contest in their barrio. when i arrived i was shocked to find out the entire event was delayed because of me - she won't compete if i was not there and the event won't start without her. then i started to notice all the contestants were her close friends and neighbors who i always see hanging out during the day in that same event venue. then i noticed the crowd was just their family and neighbors who i always see hanging out during the day in that same event venue. so basically if you remove the stage and the dress the contestants in their normal daily wear, it would be like just another day. what astounded me was the powerfull cheers and jeers from the crowd as if it was a real beauty contest. it also amused me that the contestants acted so tense and nervous and the winner burst in joy and happiness when she was pronounced the winner and received the award. however, talent portion was pretty impressive they were all good dancers and singers. but what really made me laugh was my scholar's 8 year old brother was also one of the contestants. he also had make up and he wore the gown, high heels and bikini just like the other female contestants. his dance performance was just epic. the weirdest part of it all is that he is not even gay. times have really changed. when i was a kid nobody in his right mind would ever volunteer to do such a stunt.
3/15/19 fb post:
the 3 brothers that raped and skinned the face of a 16 year old (christine lee silawan) in lapu lapu should not be harmed yet. we should bring in experts from all over the world to study them to the fullest before they are punished. this is unprecedented in filipino society. there are many important questions that need to be answered. example, is this just an isolated incident or is it symptomatic of a much deeper and emerging problem in our rapidly changing society? (no politicizing please (i'm just fantasizing people actually read my posts and comment)).
if the perps smile and say "hello clarise" to a female expert, i would not allow my scholars to go out at night anymore. actually the victim was the neighbor of one of my scholars and her neighbors told her at first they though it was her because they have similar body and facial profile. very scary. my scholar who glows in the dark because of her very white skin sometimes walks alone in that area in the middle of the night.
i was a guest today at my high school classmate's nationally syndicated radio talk show. my guest appearance garnered very high ratings. i was praising the senators who condemned the brutality. i said we are very lucky to have senators who are brave and intelligent enough to know that skinning the face of a 16 year old girl is wrong. imagine how many rapists, murderers and psychos cancelled their plans to commit a crime after they heard the senators condemn such heinous acts.
a caller asked me what i would have done if i was a senator. maybe she was a strong supporter of one of the senators because she was angry at my sarcasm. i said anyone with a humane soul would immediately be worried for the victim's love ones and use every fiber of their being to try and console the family. one of the senators should at the very least visit the family. i know rapes and murders happen often and leaders can't visit the family of every crime victim but they have to realize this particular savagery is unprecedented in filipino society and happens only in movies. they should also hire some world renowned expert to make sure this is just an isolated incident and not symptomatic of a much deeper and emerging problem in our rapidly changing society.
3/18/19 fb post:
i feel like i just came from a lord of the rings adventure. i visited my babygirl's dad who lives on a pretty remote mountain barrio to find out if my babygirl was born in a hospital or at home. it was a grueling 30 minute walk up a dark, steep and narrow trail and i felt gollum will just appear out of nowhere. and now my babygirl is so bummed out because her dad just told her that her real name is mary jane and not erica. she thinks mary jane is an ugly name. it was quite amusing hearing them argue about her real name.
she just turned 17 so i'm trying to get her a student's permit driver's license. i've been training her on road safety and observing her motorcycle driving skills and she showed very good reflexes and quick judgement. one of the requirements is a birth certificate but she told me she was born in the slums of tondo manila and was never registered. sounds fishy to me because around 2002 there were already government hospitals so we visited the cousin of her biological mother who raised her before she ran away. her aunt said that erica was not born in a hospital but when i asked if she was physically present when erica was born she said no. i then asked if there is anyone i can talk to who was actually present and she mentioned erica's dad.
so we visited her dad who was very happy to see her. her dad attested that contrary to everyone's belief, erica was actually born in bonifacio hospital near tondo and her real name is mary jane. good thing i also had the presence of mind to ask the correct spelling of his name because what erica gave me was wrong. it would have been a nightmare getting her birth certificate with all those incorrect information.
her dad looks like he came from a wealthy pedigree so after we left i asked erica if he used to be rich and she said he used to own a 3 story apartment but lost it all due to his drug addiction. it was also weird to hear her dad ask her if her mom is still alive. erica once told me that her mom is hiding from the authorities and the last time she saw her was on her 6th birthday when her mom brought her ice cream in the middle of the night. she has never heard from her ever since.
5/29/21 fb post:
this is so heartbreaking. my water camera is broken so i went to the fb page of my daughters to download our photos. my daughter on the right her name is ashley avila and on the right her last name is abad. the top of the search result was ashley avila abad. i thought they joined their names and created a facebook page but it said "remembering ...". so i looked and found out it's the page of a girl in our hometown who recently died after taking ecstasy. this is horrifying because this could easily happen to any of our kids because the newer generations are not as paranoid to these designer drugs compared to our generation. i also know very wholesome friends who told me they used to take ecstasy when they go to concerts and clubs when they were young. they come from reputable families and are now successful in life with wonderful kids, meaning they are more of the norm than the exception. i also just found out i have common fb friends with ashley and she is the niece of my schoolmate which means she is a distant relative of my daughter on the rubberboat. so the story really hits close to home. i watched the investigative news reports in youtube and found out ashley was no different than the perfect child of my dear friends and family. she was not a troubled or runaway child who got mixed up with bad elements. her boyfriend who allegedly gave her the ecstasy also comes from a reputable wholesome family. i think it's just a freak accident like a plane crash and i hope her family has found peace and acceptance and faith in the will of the Lord and they now have a guardian angel looking after them. maybe it was an allergic reaction. lots of people can die from just smelling peanuts. let's say i have a lethal allergy to peanuts and let's say peanuts are a super rare commodity and no one has ever heard of anyone dying from peanut allergy and someone offered me peanuts and i die, i wouldn't want my parents to blame that person. i feel i don't have the right to comment because i haven't experienced anything close to this devastating tragedy. but i think it's important for my friends and family to show this to their kids and warn them never to try any drug or anything whose safety has not been extensively studied because you never know if you have a life threatening allergy towards it. don't just teach your kids that drugs are dangerous. also inform them that anything that is not commonly consumed whether it's exotic food can be dangerous because human body is very fragile. many humans could even die from eating peanuts. drinking water can even kill you. it's very common for people to get severe diarrhea when they travel to another place and if they don't get medical attention they could die from dehydration.
(for more of my knowledge bombs, click the "ian's knowledge bombs" banner at the top of this article and choose any article in the table of contents that piques your interest)
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